Not Too Thrilled About Moving...AGAIN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Not Too Thrilled About Moving...AGAIN!
12
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 6:26pm

My hubby and I have been married for nearly 21 years and we have 2 daughters...one in college; one in 8th grade.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 1:14pm
No, she just said she wanted to realize her dreams. I think she should be specific in telling her husband what she wants to do, and that she plans to do it in their new home on the Gulf Coast.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 7:27am

I guess I don't know why having a kid in 8th grade and one in college warrants needing a stay at home mom (and I say this because my mom was a SAHM from the time I was born until my youngest brother left the house). I agree with the suggestion to compromise and ask him not to move before your youngest is done with high school, but really, if your husband is the only one making money then realistically you have to think about how your family is going to be supported if you don't move to where the money is. I know you're not "crazy" about the idea but if you want to have more leverage, then maybe you should consider working yourself, even part time.

Frankly, I'm not sure what about your point of view you want your husband to get. You don't feel like moving again. That's not complicated, I'm sure he gets that part, but what do you want to do about it? What do you want HIM to do about it? You understand that moving makes sense, do you just want him to listen to you vent? What do you want to change?

If you want major change in the form of moving back to east TN, then maybe you need to initiate a plan and come up with ways on how to do that, along with a time frame. You can enlist his help on this. What are your dreams and what do you need in order to get them?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 12:39am


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 2:13pm

Before my husband retired, we were Wal-Martians, and moved frequently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 1:31pm

To original poster, re venting.

I feel a great deal of guilt for moving my husband away for my job. So when he is too vocal about his frustrations I feel very

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 1:16pm

I know what you mean about the moving. My H was AF for 6 years and we moved 3 time in those 6 years to different states. Then when he got out we went back to our hometown which I loved, however that job only lasted 9 months and we had

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 11:00am

Do you work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 8:42am
I know how you feel. We have moved 5 times so far. And we will more than likely move a few more times. The industry DH is in, just simply functions in this manner. While Im not all entirely thrilled with our current location. The thought of moving again also really weighs heavily on my shoulders. I know for certain our oldest will not be happy about it when it does happen, although she knows it is inevitable.

I know for me a big part of the issue I have is starting all over again. There is getting to know a new area. Getting settled into yet another house. Getting to know a whole new set of people......... It is daunting.

And while I too am a SAHM. It is tough to figure out how to get myself re-established yet again. What projects can I take on. What can I get involved in. A majority of my hobbies are very portable. Since I never really know how invested I can get into a local group. I would love to volunteer more, but I don't necessarily know if I can make the commitment to an organization that they would need from me. The last place I volunteered at, I was there long enough to learn my role and than found out we were moving.

I was considering going back to school, since we moved to an area that has some decent universities available. But we are more than likely not staying here long enough to justify that sort of endeavor.

I am fortunate that my DH does understand the toll it takes on us. And he does his best to compensate for that. Activities for the kids are always first established to give them an outlet. But unlike him who walks into a new job and kind of already has a social network going. The kids and I walk into yet another clean slate and have to start with almost nothing. It is an overwhelming process.

And you know the irony of it all. DH left the Army so we could be more stable and stay in one place..... Oh well.
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Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 2:01am

Welcome to the board, Doxie64 ~

It seems to me that you have two - or maybe


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 9:19pm

I think from your DH's point of view, he's probalby thinking that he doesn't have much of a choice so you could complain about it but really what is the alternative?

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