Nothing to talk about?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2007
Nothing to talk about?
8
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 2:34am

So my boyfriend and I have been together just over a year and currently I am having some issues with the relationship at the present moment. Jealousy being one of the factors, which is addressed in another posting of mine. But another MAJOR issue that I am having is that our communication has dindled over the past couple months. When in person we seem fine for the most part but over the phone we literally can't talk. He barely speaks and plays flash games then I in turn get upset and when I do try to speak it comes out dull, no life, and even sometimes sour. I do not know what to do and how to turn things around? Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 8:52am

A person who is playing games will be distracted from conversation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 12:10pm

Dealing with a person who is jealous can be very stifling. Men in relationships with women who express a lot of jealousy or insecurity tend to back away from conversation; they walk on eggshells and do not feel free to communicate how they feel or what they are thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 1:57pm

How long do these conversations last?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 3:39pm

ll0tus, if the phone calls aren't working well - but you can talk easily in person - I'd stick to making phone calls only when there's a reason to talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 7:59pm

Oh, it's only over the phone? I'm the same as him. I hate talking on the phone, I get distracted by other things and find it hard to come up with things to talk about. And I am female. I agree that you would be making things a lot easier for yourself if you were ok with a short conversation to say hi, if you have been apart for a while, and otherwise kept conversation to in-person...

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 2:36am

Welcome to the board,


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 11:14am
After dating more than 3 years, my fiance and I don't really do the phone thing (well now we live together) - it's mostly to report what each other did that day or take care of business that will be happening - you know a reason to call. Maybe if we were apart for a while, then to hear each other's voice. However, we each have the common courtesy to not browse the internet, play video games, or any other distracting thing when we are on the hone with each other. I think that's disrespectful.

If you are truly fine in person with the conversation, then maybe limit phone calls when you have a reason. Or if he's playing a game, just say "Call me when you are not playing a video game and we can talk then." Don't just sit there festering.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 11:18am
OK, I read your other post. This guy isn't that into you. Do you want to continue putting time and thought into a guy who isn't really showing his interest in you? That's probably make a moderately jealous person insanely jealous. If it were the right guy and he was equally interested in you, then I think that jealousy would not even be an issue.