one-night stand

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
one-night stand
11
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 3:23am

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We live together. Last winter we were fighting so bad that he ended up leaving and moving back in with his parents. We were still technically "together" but the relationship was really strained. He moved back in with me not long ago.

A few months before he moved back in I was out at a bar with friends and ended up going home with a guy who worked there. My boyfriend was away with his friends that night (after cancelling plans with me). I ended up having sex with this guy. At the time my relationship with my boyfriend (who is the only person besides this one that I have ever slept with) was so bad that I didn't feel even a little guilty. I actually felt relieved to know what it was like to have sex with another guy (and I actually did NOT enjoy it). Now, my relationship with my boyfriend is much better.

I am experiencing overwhelming guilt. I feel like I want to tell my boyfriend but I also feel that it would not do any good to tell him. He will only get upset and possibly break up with me for good (I have cheated in the past but never intercourse). I do not want to mess up my life with him as we will probably get married. I really hate this feeling and need some advice. Do I try to risk everything and tell him to make myself feel better or do I just leave it alone? The times that I have almost told him he says things like, "oh no did you kiss someone?" He would never imagine I would actually have sex with someone else. I keep telling myself that it meant nothing and have been trying to put it out of my head (I did use protection and just in case I have recently gotten tested for stds and aids but haven't gotten the results back). I just feel horrible and wish I could turn back time. I'm mad at my friends for even letting me go with that guy. I never saw or heard from the guy again. What should I do? I appreciate any advice, I am really have a ton of anxiety over this. Thank you so much.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
In reply to: tinap2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 6:12am

you write: "she may continue a relatioship with him and not tell him the truth about what she has done."


Oh, the truth will come out eventually--she may not be the one who tells him, but the truth NEVER stays hidden--it's not its nature to do so.

Pages