Partner and Ex hook up again on Facebook

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2010
Partner and Ex hook up again on Facebook
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 7:47pm

I hope someone can put some light on the situation

My partners ex has recently got back in touch

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 9:02pm

Marcus, I am so sorry you discovered this. It sounds like your partner is having an emotional affair with her ex.

I think it needs to be brought up. Be calm and don't get accusational. I think the issues that you two are currently having need to be discussed and a solution decided upon (after all happily committed women don't go meeting up with their ex's or trying to) Maybe you need couples counseling. There are two kids in this picture. Ask her if she wants to make your relationship work. To do that, she cannot be meeting up with this guy behind your back.

Your title said "again." So they have hooked up before (while you were with her)? How long ago?

Edited 9/20/2010 10:54 am ET by sienna76
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 10:17pm
I think you need to speak to your wife about this. Find out if she'd be willing to go to see a marriage therapist with you to discuss what is going on and see if you can sort it all out and get to a place where you both aren't doing all these things behind each others back. Can you envision bringing this up with her and how you might do that?

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

John W. Gardner


Ten Rules for Being Human


"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 1:26am
Welcome to the board, Marcus2010 ~

My thoughts on this matter and suggestions I will have will vary depending on the situation. As Sienna noted, your title suggests this isn't the first time this has happened, is that right? Once or multiple times? Can you tell us about these incident(s)? How long had your partner been split from her ex before the two of you got together? How long had they been together before they split up? How old are you guys?

Sorry to post a bunch of questions, they're posted in hopes that they'll prompt you to give lots of history and explanation so that we have enough information to offer good, competent suggestions without having to keep asking for more info!

I'll be checking back for your answers ~

"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

~ Author unknown



"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:53am

facebook seems to be the root of all evil. I have seen more relationships break up over facebook.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:43am

I agree with your last statement, Hatesnow; it's not Facebook that's evil or that's breaking up relationships, it's the choices people who use Facebook choose that's the cause. We're all responsible for our own actions and for the choices we make. We can't blame a system for that.

I'm hoping Marcus will come back with the answers we asked him...

~ cl-2nd_life