Perception controlled by ignorant males

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Perception controlled by ignorant males
6
Sat, 12-24-2005 - 4:44am

The lady I love believes labels given to her by male idiots are true...

They are not--- would another woman be willing to help me with some advice or encouragement? I am being very patient, but also am not sure what to do any more regarding how she sees herself.

Is it possible I underestimated what she told me was "no big deal" ?

Maybe I over-compensated?....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-24-2005 - 5:10am

Welcome to the board, Ptrforsue ~


We'd love to help you out, but we need your help to do that. It would be helpful if you could be more specific and provide details of what you're talking about. If we have a better idea of exactly what's going on we'll be able to offer suggestions that reflect your actual situation rather answers that are generic or are based on guesses as to what the situation really is. Obviously, guesses and generic answers have much less chance of being helpful or fitting the actual situation.


I've asked that your post be moved to the Relationship Problems section of the board, it's more appropriate there and will get more reads and responses there, so be looking for it there probably sometime tomorrow.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown









"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 12:55am

A person only has to hear a negative comment 7 times before they believe it.... and if it's about themselves, it plays havoc with one's self-esteem. If it's tied in with childhood issues (parents, father, etc) then it's even harder to overcome. You can't make someone change their beliefs about themselves. Therapy can help if someone is willing work on it.

If someone believes they are unworthy and they are expressing it, believe them.

Sorry both of you have to go through this.




Edited 12/26/2005 12:56 am ET by itwinflame


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 6:54am

itwinflame,...

imaybetwo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 10:02pm

Since you left a cryptic message for Itwinflame and completely ignored the request for more info I guess we can take that to mean you aren't going to give enough info for answers? And if that's the case, why post in the first place?

It makes no sense to me.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 12:43am
Yes, it is frustrating when a post is made but no further info is given by the O/P. I was also waiting for more details so that we could help out.
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 1:38pm

I know of several other board members who wait for answers as well. If the needed information isn't given, you never have any idea how many members may have been in the wings waiting to respond.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown









"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"