Hello all. I am new to this board and
My question is, should I be worried, and most of all what's the best way to handle this situation?
You've both sneaking around hiding things.
You want him to be honest ... but you're spying on him.
You'll have to tell him what you know & ask him how you all can move past the sneaking. If he's missing something from the relationship, he needs to speak up so you both can fix it.
"insignificant" matter to his attention and accused him of wrong doing ...
What is the policy for outside friends, between you both?
It seems very suspicious to me. I'd have a hard time ignoring that information. The problem is that you can't confront him without admitting you're snooping, which he can then turn around on you and make your snooping be the issue rather than his calls to her. All he has to do is tell you the calls are innocent, and you are making a big deal of nothing, and then find a way to block you from seeing his calls (change phone plans, change the password on his account, or get a separate phone maybe a pre-paid one to call her from). Then you'll be right where you are now, suspicious but unable to really do anything about it.
What does your gut say to do about it?
Also, what has happened with the issue about money/drinking since you last posted.
Hi India, sorry to hear what you are going through but IMO, there should be no secrets. And talking to someone secretively (even if he isnt cheating now) can not lead to anything good. Bc even if she gets the wrong idea, she can push for him to make bad decisions. Its about keeping yourself out of situations that can lead to others that you regret.
I agree with the person that said that you need to focus on what is off in your relationship that he feels he needs to turn outside of it.
Good luck. C