pictures of ex on cell phone

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
pictures of ex on cell phone
4
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:49pm

Hi everyone,
I just got off the phone with my sister. She is in a serious relationship with a guy, I think about 5 months now. He is in the process of a divorce and it's moving slow, but getting there. It's been about a year now.

She told me that he has pictures on his cell phone of he and his ex from past parties, vacations, etc. He just never took the time to change the picture directories from the computer and they automatically go to the phone. I told her I think that is messed up. Also her photo comes up on his phone caller id. I think that is weird.

Come to think of it, i have a photo of my ex on my phone, but that is a picture of him with my kid, so I don't think that's the same.

I told her to tell him to remove them or she should seriously think about ditching. What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:01pm
Does he have kids w/ the ex? The only reason I ask is because I have been married twice & basically my house is kind of full of picture albums (because I'm old enough for when you had to actually get pictures before digital cameras and computers) and basically every ex I ever dated is probably in there somewhere from high school on up to my 2 ex husbands. I don't really look at the pictures but I never thought about throwing all of them away either because they are part of my past. As far as my 1st ex, we do have kids together, so we have a lot of family pictures. I did think of taking a lot of them where just he is w/ the kids & giving them to him but it would take a lot of time so I never got around to it. I still have the wedding albums from both weddings. For the 1st wedding, I just think it would be something my kids would want to look at and a lot of relatives who have passed away are in there too. I don't really know why I have the pictures from the 2nd wedding since we didn't have any kids together. I think your sister should talk to her BF & tell him that this bothers her, if it does. I don't think it's for you to decide whether she should break up w/ him over this because maybe he has a lot of other redeeming qualities. Also, maybe he is not totally over his ex since he's not even divorced yet. I really think that's the bigger issue. Personally I wouldn't date someone who wasn't divorced because emotionally a lot of times they are still tied to the ex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 1:44am
I think there's a lot we don't know and because of that we won't be able to offer anything that means anything to the real situation. I would suggest having your sister post her situation here so we can ask questions, get all the info necessary and be able to form thoughts and offer advice based on the facts.

On the face of it I'd say, who goes in and deletes photos from your phone? Do you? I don't. If her photo comes up with his caller ID(not sure I understand that correctly - when she calls him? When he calls your sister?), at any rate, I assume this photo ID isn't a new addition and assuming your sister's known about it for some time, why is it a problem now? the biggest of the questions only your sister can answer is: Is she threatened by that? If so, why? Does she have reason to suspect he's still tied to the ex or seeing her on the side?





















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does not change the facts"

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"Ignoring the facts
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:01pm

She has no internet otherwise she'd be on here. If dont know how she survives without it, but she's living in the stone age.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:48am

Hatesnow, with this latest report, it sounds more and more like your sister is finding that this guy isn't compatible with her. It sounds like his choices and preferences aren't acceptable to her, both in lifestyle and in what he feels is appropriate in a relationship.

She'll have to figure out if she can accept his choices and his past or if it's not what she wants to have in her life. Neither choice is wrong or right, it's solely based on her personal preferences and beliefs. If she chooses him, it will have to mean accepting him as he is, and making that acceptance happily.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_