please help me...!I hurt !
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| Sat, 06-10-2006 - 10:13am |
Help me !I am not well...
I phoned my bf to listen to him and he was at work.As we were talking he started saying:"Baby I love you so much...so much that right now that an incredible chick that is walking in front of me with a great piece of ass ..."And then I heard her telling him to go to hell!!!!!!!I told him to go to hell too and I hang up.He called right away and started saying some excuses that it was a misunderstanding and other bull****.I accused him that he didn't respect me and if he was such a jerk it would be better to tell me right away in order to find a real man and gentleman who is going to respect me!He said that he knew I will call him in about 2 hours as usual to talk and I said there is no way this going to happen.He asked me if we are going out tonight and I told him no and that I prefer to go out with other company.Now he played that he was the victim because he wanted to see me and I didn't and then we hang up.
I felt terrible and I have started trembling.We are together 13months.He didn't respect me AT ALL!!!!!!!!In fact he used me to find a chance to tease her !I am not well...I am crying and I don't know what to do.It really hurt!I started screaming in order to feel a little better but nothing...Please tell me what to do!I am thinking about going later at his work and tell him that if he wants we can still be together but he has no right to tell me not to see other men.I know this is ridiculous...But please HELP ME I want to make him feel exactly as I did because even if he is going to beg me and tell me how sorry he is I want to make him feel once jealous of me , start worrying and feel as bad for himself as I did for myself after this and other times he is telling me about other chicks.Please tell me sth good to do to make him crazy and realise that I am still a beautiful woman and that he must respect, worry about and take care of me!

He doesn't respect women. They are there for his enjoyment and entertainment. He already told you that he was a big, disrespectful jerk. If this is the one and only time it had happened, I would say that you could give him another shot. Otherwise..... find someone who won't disrespect you.
Jen
I will also say that based on your responses in your previous post you have no intention of leaving, unless this incident has changed that? If you're hanging on to your decision to stay, I'll warn you that threatening to leave (as you did on the phone) is a bad thing to do, it creates drama but doesn't resolve anything. It throws out threats, but makes you less credible because you don't follow through with them. And if you've threatened this kind of thing before, he already knows you're not leaving, so you're just making yourself less credible.
Besides the fact that he makes you feel that you're not good enough, why do you stay? What's the good in this relationship? Where do you see it in the future, considering that he's going to continue to be the person he is today?
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
Edited 6/12/2006 3:03 am ET by cl-2nd_life
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
need opinions
(Boy, it must have been a long weekend, I totally forgot to post this before my response!)
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
>>Please tell me sth good to do to make him crazy and realise that I am still a beautiful woman and that he must respect, worry about and take care of me!<<
I agree with the other posts. First of all, making him crazy will do nothing to help your relationship. However, if you want to be out of the relationship, making him crazy could work in your favour ;-) That is; he may dump you and save you the effort.
Second, there is no way to make him realise that he must respect, worry about you and take care of you. He's either going to do it naturally or he won't.
Lastly, being beautiful has nothing to do with expecting to be treated well. Women who aren't beautiful still deserve to be treated well. Besides, none of us will be beautiful forever....but a good husband will still treat us like a queen even when we're 70 and a mess of wrinkles.
I spoke to him and told him about respect and how a woman must be treated and how not .He told me that he does respect me and that he didn't say this thing to hurt me or tease her.He said that he hadn't even seen this girl from the front in order to know if he likes her, he just said so to show me that he does not think of other women from the time we are together.
Anyways I told him that this was the first and last time that he did something like that and I believe he won't because I hurt him when I told him that I was on the verge of leaving him.
Thank you all for your support!Sometimes it is safer to ask from advice on the net than from people in your environment that you know they are going to gossip you .
Sweetie, your boyfriend's response itself was disrespectful and shows that his thinking and beliefs are inappropriate. Relationships are not about you "forgiving" him because you said something mean too. It's about whether this relationship is right for you based on how he treats you, not based on what he "has to put up with" from you. He decides what he's willing to deal with from you, you decide whether his actions warrant staying or not, what you said or did to him has no bearing in it at all. Your relationship is not a good thing. It's not a healthy place for you to be and will continue to cause you more anxiety, confusion, less confidant and learning how to be in a dysfunctional relationship while teaching you nothing about how to be in a good relationship. I promise you, if you were in a normal, healthy relationship for five minutes you'd be amazed at the difference, would leave and never go back to this jerk and wonder why you stayed so long. I hope with age you learn that rather than getting more and more stuck in this bad situation.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"