Please help save my marriage
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|Fri, 12-25-2009 - 9:10am|
I met my husband 4 years ago,dated for 3 and half years and married for 6 months only.During our dating period we got to know each other well enough ( or so we thought),had a lots of common interests,enjoyed being together and apart as well,had an excellent sex life and we definately had disagreements but learned to sought them out w/o being nasty or disrespectful to each other.I am 32 now and my husband is 37 if that is of any importance.We were very much in love when we decided to get married.
Our families were also very happy with our getting married.You must be getting to a point that if all is so fairly tale then why am i here?That exactly is my problem.I have no clue what has suddenly changed after 5 months except that we have a certificate of marriage ( we were living together for 8 months before getting married,that too in the same house,had no plans of moving as we both have survived to keep our jobs here).
He is not having an affair,i am 100% sure of that.Please dont point to that as the reasons why i am sure is too long to explain.I have ruled that out.
All of a sudden i am no good.Whatever i do is of no importance ,it gets overlooked.We planned on having a baby after we had settled down having been married so that is still out of question to be a cause.he has started getting angry on little stuff.I also work full time but we both share house keeping and now he doesnt do anything in the house.when we are home from work,all he does is play some game,take a walk in the park or watch tv.Our sex life has come to a halt as if we dont have a body anymore! I initiate,he rejects.I am still the same.Nothing has changed in the physical sense ,hygiene or even bed,lol.I say this to say that i have tried to anaylze every possibility.He is happy with his job,all is well with extended family.So what is wrong? we have a very tense environment at home now.I tried to ask him why so much change in his behaviour,as it hurts me to see our life going to ruins,he wont reply.He looks at me with an angry face and continues doing what he was doing.I dont recall doing anything which pissed him off like this.Earlier when we had such a scenario that is if he pissed me off or the other way around,we would talk it out and move forward.
Our home now seems like a cold war zone where something i might do or not do,will explode the entire house.I am very worried.My husband is a very sweet and caring man to the core and doesnt even have anger issues.When we have friends or family at home,he is the old him again.
The other day i cooked a special meal after finding recipies on the net,it turned out delicious but my husband just ate and never made any comment instead frowned when he was finished eating.i asked if he didnt like it or what.No answer.He leaves 15 mins earlier than i do.He always kissed me bye,but nothing for 1 month.When i return home,no hello,nothing.I am at my wits end.I love my husband to death and seeing that he is turning his back to me,is killing.We had such a beautiful 3 and half year time ,i want that back.
He always wanted to get married.he proposed and even got books to how handle the transition from being dating to living together to getting married.he loved being married.He was so sweet all the time.I want him back.he has even hinted on seperation.I didnt indulge in that as i would have lost myself if it was brought out on the table.What is he thinking?What has changed suddenly that he can even think about seperation.who knows if he is planning on divorce?I am going nuts as i cant put my fingure on anything that could have caused him to hate me like this.He puts me down and demeans me every opportunity.Its a month already that we had sex.he just turns his back and dozes off.he is not even depressed.
Anyone have any clue whats going on?i dont want to be divorced.i love my husband.we were off to such a good start and now its like i am nothing he wants when i was everything he wanted.Divorce will devastate me and my family who dont believe in divorce and my husband knows this.
What can i do get him back.I feel he is going to go and i will be left wondering and thinking as to what went wrong.