Why would someone consider staying in a relationship where you had to prove you were telling the truth in order to keep the relationship? If my partner truly didn't believe me I wouldn't stay. Why be with someone who did't believe you?
What's going on in your situation? Are you with the same guy you were with when you posted before? If so, is he the one that you're thinking needs a polygraph?
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~ Author unknown
Hehe, well I can't recall AT ALL what I posted in the past about THIS guy, here's briefly what happened.
He txt msg'd me "stay away" last night. The short version of this story is he claimed that was the second portion of a text message. He then actually took the time to make up the first part and sent it to me. He did finally admit that he did this. So it's not the lie I can't deal with, we all lie at times. My MAJOR problem is that he cultivated the lie by making up some crap that came before the 'stay away' text message. It was just so conniving!
THEN he admitted he was lying about the supposed first message (the one he made up). Then when I got VERY angry, he lied again and said he was just saying that to see if I'd believe the worst! He went on and on about how messed up it was that I would believe the worst if he told it to me. THEN....he admitted lying about that.
Interestingly enough, after typing all of that...even I can see this is not a relationship worth saving. Let me just say as a sidenote that I am not a naive romantic person. I am 34 yrs old and he is the VERY first person I ever trusted enough to want to spend my life with.
It's amazing what writing it down can do for you, isn't it? As I was reading, I was thinking, this isn't about whether or not he was honest, the guy's a liar, plain and simple, why would you want to stay in a relationship that's got that kind of bull and game playing going on?
And then the next line I see you're thinking the same thing.
I've got to tell you though, the first part of your response, where you said, "So it's not the lie I can't deal with, we all lie at times." I'd have a problem with a lie. To me, it would be a red flag of bigger problems and character issues that I wouldn't be able to accept.
Your other post was several years ago - 2003 to be exact. It was short, you asked a question, about guys needing space, but you never came back to answer questions that were asked. I'm glad you came back this time!
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~ Author unknown
Lol...you're awesome! Sorry about that. I guess I just needed some space! ;-)
I hear what you're saying, I totally do. Lies are the WORST and I happen to be the most honest person I know (which has caused me more trouble than anything). I have to be realistic though. People do lie.
I'm not sure I can let this one go though. I've never EVER felt this way about anyone...even though this new lying thing kind of throws a spin on that. He's so good to me. I think it's easy to hear someone lied and think "bad!" Of course it's bad, but there are so many other elements, you know what I mean?
I have to agree with Itwinflame. No amount of *good* is worth being with someone who plays games and/or lies. You can't believe them and you can't trust them. And without those things, you don't have anything; your relationship certainly can't grow.
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~ Author unknown
IMO, if you're at that point, there isn't any relationship to save.
Jen
Why would someone consider staying in a relationship where you had to prove you were telling the truth in order to keep the relationship? If my partner truly didn't believe me I wouldn't stay. Why be with someone who did't believe you?
What's going on in your situation? Are you with the same guy you were with when you posted before? If so, is he the one that you're thinking needs a polygraph?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Hehe, well I can't recall AT ALL what I posted in the past about THIS guy, here's briefly what happened.
He txt msg'd me "stay away" last night. The short version of this story is he claimed that was the second portion of a text message. He then actually took the time to make up the first part and sent it to me. He did finally admit that he did this. So it's not the lie I can't deal with, we all lie at times. My MAJOR problem is that he cultivated the lie by making up some crap that came before the 'stay away' text message. It was just so conniving!
THEN he admitted he was lying about the supposed first message (the one he made up). Then when I got VERY angry, he lied again and said he was just saying that to see if I'd believe the worst! He went on and on about how messed up it was that I would believe the worst if he told it to me. THEN....he admitted lying about that.
Interestingly enough, after typing all of that...even I can see this is not a relationship worth saving. Let me just say as a sidenote that I am not a naive romantic person. I am 34 yrs old and he is the VERY first person I ever trusted enough to want to spend my life with.
It's amazing what writing it down can do for you, isn't it? As I was reading, I was thinking, this isn't about whether or not he was honest, the guy's a liar, plain and simple, why would you want to stay in a relationship that's got that kind of bull and game playing going on?
And then the next line I see you're thinking the same thing.
I've got to tell you though, the first part of your response, where you said, "So it's not the lie I can't deal with, we all lie at times." I'd have a problem with a lie. To me, it would be a red flag of bigger problems and character issues that I wouldn't be able to accept.
Your other post was several years ago - 2003 to be exact. It was short, you asked a question, about guys needing space, but you never came back to answer questions that were asked. I'm glad you came back this time!
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Lol...you're awesome! Sorry about that. I guess I just needed some space! ;-)
I hear what you're saying, I totally do. Lies are the WORST and I happen to be the most honest person I know (which has caused me more trouble than anything). I have to be realistic though. People do lie.
I'm not sure I can let this one go though. I've never EVER felt this way about anyone...even though this new lying thing kind of throws a spin on that. He's so good to me. I think it's easy to hear someone lied and think "bad!" Of course it's bad, but there are so many other elements, you know what I mean?
Carrie
I have to agree with Itwinflame. No amount of *good* is worth being with someone who plays games and/or lies. You can't believe them and you can't trust them. And without those things, you don't have anything; your relationship certainly can't grow.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"