Possible Impending Move+Lots Of Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Possible Impending Move+Lots Of Stress
8
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 5:29am

My husband and I are both in our late 40's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 9:39am

As for your college-aged daughter: Lots of people go to college a plane flight away. It's not the end of the world.

As for your high school daughter: Lots of kids have to move away from their friends. It's not the end of the world.

Right now you are all dealing with less-than-ideal circumstances and I don't think it's reasonable to expect any solution to be 100% perfect, but it's not fair for you to complain that your husband has not been able to provide enough financially for your family, and also complain that his job offer is annoying to you and your daughters.

I'm not saying "suck it up and deal with it", but I am kind of saying "suck it up and deal with it". Expressing your concerns to your husband puts him in kind of an impossible position. I know you don't love the thought of moving, but do you love the thought of struggling with mortgage payments and college tuition?

Since he is the sole breadwinner (it makes me wonder how you contribute, since you don't have young children who need taking care of) then he has to do what he has to do in order to provide for his family. I really hope you can understand that.

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 10:30am
I agree with undercovercrab. The economy is bad, unemployment is high and many companies aren't hiring. Your husband was fortunate to get this job and he may not get another offer for a very long time. You think things have been tough now, what do you think will happen if he doesn't take this offer? You could lose your house, you could not be able to pay your daughter's tuition and she could have to drop out... you might even have to... *gasp*.... get a job yourself.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but really... what other choice does he have? Yeah, it sucks that you'll be farther away from your older daughter and that your younger daughter will have to leave all her friends and that you'll have to deal with your MIL more often. Don't think I can't sympathize with those things because I do (my family moved 4 hours from my home town when I was 13 - I now live in another country and miss my parents a lot - and I have some MIL issues too... so I can understand all three of your concerns). But things could be a LOT worse. I'd say if those are your biggest complaints about your future life, you've got it fairly good. You should grateful he got this job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 12:26pm

Yes it would be nice if your DH could find a job locally & you wouldn't have to move, but that's life--what are the other options?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 4:34pm

How close are your inlaws to Charleston/Myrtle Beach?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sat, 12-17-2011 - 3:49am

I'm just now getting a chance to take a look at the board and I won't have time to read/reply tonight, but Doxie64, you posted about a move a year ago and I think the board members would benefit from the information so I'm posting the link to that post:

Not Too Thrilled About Moving...AGAIN!


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sat, 12-17-2011 - 4:52am
Interesting. Doxie, what happened to the gulf coast job last year? He must not have taken it since you say you've lived in your current location for 7 years. You say your house was on the market for 18 months and you couldn't sell it so I'm guessing you wound up not moving because of that? But you also say he's only been unemployed for 7 months so did he find another job in your current location which he then lost or left again in less than a year?

What is it exactly that he does for a living? Why does he keep losing or leaving jobs? I think maybe if we had the answers to these questions, we might have a better understanding of what's going on here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 12-17-2011 - 9:57am

I would like to add most military families move every 3 to 5 years, sometimes all over the world.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 2:25am

Doxie, I'm also wondering what happened to last years impending move?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_