Post Marital Sex
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| Wed, 03-21-2007 - 12:43pm |
Hi,
The thing is ,I have been married for 3 months now,it was a love marriage and we have known each other for past 3 yrs.We were havin a livin relationship for 2 yrs bfore this and we did face the initial problems of u know difference of opinion and stuff which is expected.Also our marriage was a hec of a deal and there were many problems to actually make it happen..but anyways it finally did happen..this was just to give a back ground of myself.
Now the thing is my husband treats me like a baby..of course he pampers me..loves me..cuddles me..and everythin and I love it..but u know after all I am a 26 year old girl or I mus say a woman and I also need to be treated in that way smtimes...I havent seen any or rather just once in a while when he really is into u know adult kind of thins like initialising sex and all..I had resisted all this for 2 years when we were livin together so now I am just ready to go..but it does not seem to be that way from his side..he is very passive..He goes for it when I initiate but its like I have to push him..Its not like he has never initiated but u know its very weird coz it happens rarely and for a short while too..Can you blive I have not lost my virgnity till now, I mean we have not had actual you know intercourse..its all superficial..he wears clothes on..I have clothes on..we just play with each other and then suddenly he reaches his climax and thats it..I am like..really scared if everything is normal or not..Infact can soemone answer me that these thins r pretty normal and it can take like months for me to loose virginity that is if I leave it to him...and how often does intercourse actually take place between a married couple?.
Thanks
Edited 3/22/2007 12:58 pm ET by livelifekingsize

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I'll be back tomorrow ~
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
No, I do not believe that is normal.
Hello,
I do not think this is normal. Almost all men love sex as much as women. I don't understand if you have been married for this long and not had sex. It sounds as if he has some emotional issue that needs to be resolved. Have you talked to him about this? If not you need to bring it up. I have been married for almost 3 years, and have not had sex with my DH for 8 weeks. It wasn't all at the same time. I had our daughter and it was about 4 weeks and then I had an hysterectomy and that was about 5 weeks or so. Except for those exceptions we have sex at least once a week. Most of the time twice a week. I think that something is diffinately not right with this situation. Talk to him about it. If you do not resolve this issue your marriage may not last. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship. I am not saying that you have to have sex every day or anything but something is not right. Maybe he is scared of getting you pregnant. If so you can use some form of birth control. It could be he doesn't know all the facts of life doubtfully but maybe. He could just be nervous, afraid that he will not do it right. I don't know other than that. Sorry I can't be of much help, but you need to confront this situation, do not let this go on.
Sex isn't dirty or wrong. You both need to realize that sex is both natural and it feels good to both. It is nice that he snuggles you and all that but you have to be feeling that you aren't attractive or good enough for him. I sure would be. I think that this wouold have to be really hard on you emotionally. You need to explain to him while you love snuggling and all that, that you are a woman and you are married and that you need to feel like one. You need to explain to him that it hurts you that he doesn't want to make love to you. Good Luck.
Are you saying that you haven't actually had sex yet? How old are each of you? Have you spoken to him about initiating more? Was not having sex something you discussed and agreed on during your dating?
Answers to those questions will help to know what to suggest ~
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
we both r 25 yrs old..well its not as bad as it sounds..the point is..I have these thoughts from what I have read and seen during years is that atleast for a coupel of months after u get married one is on an absolute high as far as sex is concerned and men r more so inclined..but I find my man absolutely calm and composed..not enough sex driven..he does initiate but tat is also not composed of too much fire..if u kno wat I mean....I just expected us to b physically inseperable atleast a month after teh marriage but he behaves like a 10 year old married man who has complete control over himself and his sex drive...
For the tiem we livbed together I restricted him from goin to far as long as sex is concerned but we had soem beautiful nights..To b brutally honest we never had intercourse or so called actual penis insertion during that time..adn now that we r married we still havent had that process..other than that we do have sex..as in he does coem up over me..we have foreplay but its jus till that far....if u knwo wat I mean..
Why don't you guys go to a bookstore and buy a sex book, then read it together? I do that a lot with my boyfriends. In the beginning of a relationship it helps us get to know each other's sexual desires better and later on it gives us new ideas or allows for an oppertunity to discuss what we'd like to improve.
If you're embarassed about buy a book (which I would assume from the number of nervous "you knows" in you posts), you can find a lot of great educational sites on the internet. Even ivillage has some good articles on sex. Read the sites together and point out things that look fun, things you would consider experimenting as well as things you'd like to avoid.
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