Problem, new relationship
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Problem, new relationship
| Sat, 06-10-2006 - 12:27pm |
Dating a wonderful new guy, who I am really happy about and excited about.
We finally got to the point of getting physical, and he couldn't maintain an ere*tion. I tried not to let it get to me, thinking maybe he's nervous, etc. But I'm still a little concerned. I wouldn't be if we had been together for awhile--I mean I DO know these things happen. But part of me is thinking this may be a bad sign so early in the game. Am I overreacting

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jessiesgirl2006,
If I may, I just have a few questions. What is his age and how long have you two been together?? I'll be waiting for your answers and thinking of a response for you.
Defleppardgal
Defleppardgal
He's 45, and we've been together about a month.
I am hoping that I am overreacting. It didn't seem like this was going to be a problem given certain signs you would get while kissing, etc. Which is why I am thinking it just may be nerves at this point.
There are so many reasons that this could happen including "just because." He could be diabetic. He could be taking high blood pressure meds or antidepressants or some other meds. He could have a physical reason that he may or may not know about.
IF it happens again, that would be the time to talk to him. If he hasn't talked to you, he may be embarrassed. IF it happens again, well after it happens, when you aren't in a sexual situation, you may want to approach the subject.
Whatever the reason, it isn't YOU. Women are very likely to blame themselves in this situation. It isn't you! Anyway, all that aside, don't worry about it too much unless it's a pattern.
jessiesgirl2006,
If it were me I would wait it out a few more times to see if you really do have a problem or not. I'm sorry I can't give you more, I know someone else who will though. Keep your chin up and remember that it's not you. Keep saying that to your self over and over if you have to.
Best of luck,
Defleppardgal
Defleppardgal
I agree that I wouldn't worry about it at this point. There are a lot of reason for inability to maintain an erection, medical and psychological. If it continues to be a problem, yes, talking is necessary. He should get a complete medical check up and the doctor should be made aware of the erection problem. If the doc doesn't find anything he'll probably refer him to a urologist to check for erectile dysfunction.
What did your boyfriend say about it?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Thanks for all of the replies!
The first time he didn't say anything.
I had woken up later that night and woke him up, and same problem. Then he said that because he had been out golfing with his buddies earlier in the day, drinking and smoking cigars he just wasn't feeling well.
Now he hasn't gotten near me since Thursday, although we've been in the same bed every night. :(
I can't sleep and keep waking up at 4 am and just getting up because I hate laying there knowing he's not interested.
Thanks-
We actually did talk about it yesterday and I think that things are straightened out now. We're both relieved that we discussed it before it became a bigger problem than it really was.
He's been married before yes, and divorced for 12 years. I do think he's a little shy with women, which is actually very endearing. Good men often are a little shy and I get that.
I hope that you ca sort things out with your wife!
Thanks again.
Glad to hear things have “straightened out” and you’re both “relieved”. Sorry, I couldn’t resist!
Thanks for the kind thoughts
I'm glad things seem to have worked out due to your talk, it is really easy for this kind of issue to start with a one-time problem then snowball into a huge issue because of the anxiety and fear that the concern of it happening again can cause. Has he had this problem before? Are you know having sex as often as you'd like? Let us know if it turns out to not be as resolved as you thought.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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