Question -- ALL Please Respond

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Question -- ALL Please Respond
26
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 3:44am

  • What would you, as board members (yes all of you, from those who are here posting all the time to those who show up once in a blue moon, to those who "only" lurk, you're all board members) like to see on this board that you don't see now, what would make it more appealing, more inviting to you?
  • What do you like here and what do you not like here?
  • Some boards do QOTW (Question of the week), Roll calls, etc., but it's been my experience (and please correct me if you this isn't true for you) that the personality of those who like to respond on problem solving boards is such that they aren't much into "idle chat", rather, they want to answer the posts and move on. But if you'd like to see more chatting on the board, I need to know that so I can change it!
  • I would love any and all thoughts, comments and suggestions, including personal critique.


    It's important to know what you like as well as what you don't like, and if you like it as it is, then say that; if you don't tell me what you think, I can't know whether you're happy as is or hate it and wish it would change.


    If you prefer email to post, you can email me at cl-2nd_life@comcast.net


    Please let me know, I'm really counting on your comments.






  • ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-25-2003
    Sat, 09-03-2005 - 7:18am
    I agree with Aisha for the most part.

    Peace,

    Di

    ***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

     

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-27-2004
    Sat, 09-03-2005 - 8:21am
    I agree that the title of the board should tell prospective posters what they will find here, and since everyone who has ever been part of a couple has had to solve problems, we should have TONS of posters. Instead, we're saying that the board is slow, that the number of posters has declined to the point that the cl is worried. So I think we need to give some thought to how or why the board is not attracting the hordes of problem-plagued couples we all know are out there. What has changed, here or in the world at large, to have caused this decline in the number of posters?
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 01-02-2004
    Sat, 09-03-2005 - 6:13pm

    Hi there,
    Just once again i drop by to see what's going on here..
    and well i saw you post the question about this board

    well, to me i likes this board so much and according to your question
    I'd like to have a more sought of casual community going on in this board
    i mean like people who visit the board often enough can share other general topics other than the couple and problems question.
    I feel that most of the times if i were to i visit here is just when i have some little trouble and problem going on in my love life however, i want to also be able to post about other thing that going on in life.

    I don't know about other but It is just nice to visit this board and i don't really feel the same when i post in other board.. i guess i just get attach to this board..

    oh well

    Cheers,
    Kathy

    Kathy

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Mon, 09-05-2005 - 2:01am

    Hi Kathy! It's nice to see you and it's nice to know you're still dropping in to see what's going on. Thanks so much for voicing your opinion, I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you like this board too. I think what we're seeing so far is that more members are saying they aren't interested in becoming chatty, so, at this point, it doesn't look like you'll get much chit-chat here, but that could change if/when more opinions come in, so keep checking!







    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Mon, 09-05-2005 - 2:05am

    Hey Maryanne ~


    It's always nice to see you here, glad you stopped by and posted!


    Thanks for giving your thoughts, it's good to know the format is right for you. I agree, I get a lot out of reading the posts and the responses too. I just wish there were more of them!







    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Mon, 09-05-2005 - 2:14am

    Jen, thanks for letting me know that lots of boards are having a dramatic drop in posts. It's too bad the feature that counts the number of views a post receives hasn't available longer, then we'd be able to see whether traffic in general has dropped off or if it's board posting alone that's slowing. I admit to being pretty tied to this board, I don't have a lot of posting time, so all that I have is devoted to this board, I don't get to cruise around to other boards much. I will say that the few that I do a quick peek into on a regular basis have dropped off dramatically as well. It would be great if the reason is the issues these boards cover are no longer big problems, but statistics say otherwise. Nothing would be better than to have social issues and discord cease to be problems!


    Thanks so much for your information, it really does make me feel better.







    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Mon, 09-05-2005 - 2:35am

    Thanks again for your thoughts, Ismileimfine, once again they're invaluable. The opinion of someone who's speaking from the experience of being on this board as a member seeking help and advice is much more impactful than anything anyone else can assume is an OP's perspective. I absolutely agree with you that more than one perspective is helpful -- and necessary. Thinking back to "back in the day" when I started on this board as a member (pre-cl), I'd often respond to posts that had one or very few responses because I felt "bad" that the OP who was looking for help and insight was getting so little. Often the problems/issues they posted were tough or touchy ones and I suppose that's why many were staying away. While I didn't really know what to say (and was sometimes concerned about what the reaction of the OP would be), I found that if I thought about their post I usually had a fair idea of what I thought about it. So, I'd take a deep breath and post my opinion. I've gone from that to being the opinionated, know-it-all that I've become, lol! You just never know where taking one step out of your comfort zone will take you!


    You must not have seen my second response to you in that other post on this board, I read you on DA and told you what I thought of him. I've read a little more since then (post Katrina -- by the way, you're absolutely okay to be upset with your own issues, but I do understand feeling like your problems are pretty petty in comparison). I think what you heard there is absolutely right. He expects his snotty reaction is going to have you running back -- he's playing this like a game, he thinks you're acting the way you are to *make* him act the way you want, he thinks if he acts arrogant and uncaring you're going to worry that he's not going to come around and you'll come running back to him. I'm thinking you want a real, honest relationship, not a bunch of tactical maneuvers and games. They're right that he'll come around when he sees his position didn't get the results he thought. He'll be sorry and soooo ready to be the guy he ought to be. I hope by now you've seen enough to know that this is not the kind of guy or the kind of game playing you want. Even if he were serious in wanting to change *this time* you have to know that the chances of him changing are less than zero based on the actions you've already seen from him. Even when he was "trying" (last week), he wasn't treating you like an equal or with respect. You deserve to be treated much better than this and you won't get what you want or need from him. You know what you want, don't settle for less than that. Don't settle for him. Like the saying goes, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." He's showing you, Ismile, and he's shown you several times now.


    Another book: "Are You the One For Me?" by Barbara DeAngelis


    Wishing you the best, Ismile. Keep me posted.







    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Mon, 09-05-2005 - 2:46am

    Okay, what I'm hearing so far is that the most agreement I've seen is that a QOTD would be well received. If QOTD's are posted can I count on answers? And since coming up with great questions is not my forte, can I count on some of you for coming up with good ones of your own?


    The newspaper article/informational chat about marriage/relationships in general is good. A section dedicated to general relationship discussion could be added pretty easily. If it is, will you guys contribute?







    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown

    my signature exchange partner:

    Sexual Pleasure








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-31-2004
    Tue, 09-06-2005 - 4:47pm

    One of the reasons why I like it here is that, unlike the "Ask the Relationship Saver", this board isn't geared towards seeking answers from a relationship therapist. Here, it's more of a 'common sense' consensus.

    Other than that, I have no complaints about this board... lots of sage advice and people with big hearts here.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 10-13-2004
    Tue, 09-06-2005 - 5:39pm
    Yep, I'll contribute. Especially if it's on topic
    Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace