RESPECT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
RESPECT
14
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 10:18am

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:09am

I read all the missives but was shocked when you admitted coming from an abusive background.

dragowoman

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 2:44am


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 3:56pm

I am so sorry that your childhood was riddled with abuse as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 3:19pm
Oh and yes, the perfect husband around my friends and family but he doesn't act any differently around his friends and family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 2:53pm

Used to and still sometimes now I will reply with a mean comment back when I feel his comment to me was rude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 1:26pm
In short , its not about respect at all. Its abuse . Its a vicious cycle of good and bad , else the victim wont stay .

Leave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 1:05pm
Let me start by saying, sure, a guy can be great around the house, but marriage is more than that. It's about taking care of your emotional needs as well. everything you have listed are all signs of an abusive man. I willing to bet that he also appears to be Mr. Perfect to outsiders right? Treats them well and you like crapola?

Go to counseling for yourself to help you figure out why you stay and put up with being treated like this. Believe me, your son is better off NOT growing up in an environment like that. Parenting is about role modeling as well. He will either grow up and be like his father or he will have a lot of relationship issues because of your marriage. If you get out, at least then you have a chance of showing him what a healthy relationship is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:49pm

"But all in all, I bet I talk to him that way because he does it to me."

Can you give us an example of what you say to him when this disrespect is going on?

Was there ever any apology or remorse for kicking you in the stomach and making you bleed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:39pm

"Every time I try to explain to him how I feel, he says that I talk to him with disrespect so that is why he does it to me."

Here's my take on this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: t_nusbaum
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:23pm

I will go look for that book today.

Also, I feel like I am at fault.

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