Is this the right thing to do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2005
Is this the right thing to do??
3
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 9:36am

Hey, what do you guys think of this??
I left my BF last week because I had heard he had cheated on me last summer. We broke up then for a little while, and he did sleep with two of his close girl friends, one of them told me they had been sleeping together for a few months and that she was madly in love with him then and didn't know we were still together, he says its not true. And its hard to believe cus the other girl he slepted with totally lied and manipulated me into leaving him so she could have him, so did that happen again??. So I left cus I was confused as to who to believe and I was sick of being told something diferent than my BF.
As of right now my Ex and I have decided not to date because we care about our future. I know this sounds funny but I talked to him and we decided that we are not going to date or sleep with anyone, focus on ourselves individually and on a friendship between each other. That way the issue of someone sleeping with each other is removed and we can see how we feel about each other after a while. We will hang out once a week or two weeks.
Am I being crazy?? I feel like I might be setting myself up for hurt again...
Will he really not sleep with anyone?? Is he doing this just so I feel better?? Will he not want to date me again after he finds that he likes being single and then I end up wanting to be with him again and hes not interested...
I wouldn't mind it the other way around where I find that being single is better and I don't want to be with him..Lol of course I would rather that, I don't get hurt that way.
Dang it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:43am
The bottom line is you broke up with your boyfriend because you don't believe him. He won't be any more credible in the future. What's the point in working towards reconnecting with someone you don't trust or believe? Eventually a situation will arise that will result in you breaking up with him again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:51am

You said:


Am I being crazy?? I feel like I might be setting myself up for hurt again...
Will he really not sleep with anyone?? Is he doing this just so I feel better?? Will he not want to date me again after he finds that he likes being single and then I end up wanting to be with him again and hes not interested


My Response:


Follow your gut.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:29pm

I agree with the others. You're talking about taking time away and starting back up slowly. The problem isn't closeness, the problem is his morals and character. Distance may make the heart grow fonder, but it won't change who he is or what he does. If he's a liar and a cheater, he'll be one no matter how long you stay apart or how slowly you get back together. Why go through the motions with a guy you already know isn't trustworthy? It's a waste of your time and energy.


Spend the time looking for a guy who isn't a liar and a cheat, or better yet, spend the time working on yourself so that when a guy who's worthy of you comes along you're ready for him!







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"