sexy
Find a Conversation
sexy
| Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:50am |
I recently ended it w my bofyfriend of ten months because he just isnt for me. As you know, I like a romantic...someone who shows care for me like a man. I have other posts..you may know me from them. He knows I want a romantic and have told him how i love flowers and he never gets them for me. after i ended it finally, he pleaded over and over. im like no. u know i wanted flowers. if u cared u would have gotten them by now ..my type of guy, which isnt you..would have tried to win me back by now..sorry. no offense. ur not my type..ur not the one..u r who u r and u cant change. but i wanna se what my type is. So i told him im gonna go on a date and he can too. So after we spoke....he finally sent me flowrs but i think its way too late..he only did it bc he is being threatened by me ending the relationship. i want the flowers.for no reason..the nice things for no reason. he cant gimme that. so i told him it means nothing its too late..ten months too late. the meaning is diff. he didnt wanna get them. i told him...to get them...so after we speak online and he tells me he thinks i dress too sexy since men on the street and in cabs of nyc r giving me a lot of attention latley. he sayd my skirts and tank tops r too low cut and i know they r not. i never show my but or my boobs so much..but he told me his parents thought i dressed too provocative..i dont think s. i dress like im 20 and enjoying my life with tank tops and fashion. He says he loves me and wants me. does he have any place to tell me i dress too sexy after all this and me saying i wanna end it.

Anyone can say whatever they like to you, but it's up to YOU to decide who you need to take notice of. Trust yourself.
That aside, I'm concerned that after all your posts to us and the amount of times we've told you that your expectations are too high - you're still looking for a boyfriend that will shower you with flowers and gifts for no reason. Hon, if it takes frequent gifts to make you content - you're going to have a very hard time finding the right man.
For those who aren't familiar with Tunatartar's situation, you can find her previous posts here:
paying
paying2
romance
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
I'm confused, you say you've broken up, that it's too late and that at this point the gifts mean nothing because you know he's only trying to get you back, it's not his nature to be a gift-giving guy, but then you say, "He says he loves me and wants me. does he have any place to tell me i dress too sexy after all this and me saying i wanna end it."? He can say anything he wants, but what difference does it make? Why would that concern you?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
If you ended it, then why do you continue to play with him and bait him by telling him what he could do to make you happier and then rebuffing him when he tries?? Are you THAT insecure that watching him twist in the wind validates you in some way?? You're playing a very nasty game here and you're going to lose and hurt someone else in the process.
And why on earth do you care about what he says bout your style of dress? You don't want to be with him, remember?
I think you are a very insecure girl who wants to see how long you can string this guy along because watching him hurt makes you feel better. Sorry it's not a pretty response, but you're really being quite cruel to this boy.
>>It;s not gifts..its affection he lacks..he says means it tho..and cares but has a hard time showing me affection<<
Tuna, ALL of your posts refer to needing flowers etc as tokens of his affection. It very much appears that you are hunting for someone who will give you material items.
If you really don't need flowers and gifts, why do you keep referring to them?
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Every time I read Tuna's posts and the responses to them, I am reminded of the story the actress Helen Hayes told about her husband, the playwright Charles MacArthur. They met at a party, and when they were introduced, he offered her a dish of peanuts, saying, "I wish they were emeralds." Years later, he gave her a pair of emerald earrings for their anniversary, with the comment, "I wish they were peanuts."
Well, I think it's a cute story, and the point is, MacArthur didn't actually have to give Hayes anything--he just had to WANT to. She was happy for years with his wish to shower her with jewels. We don't actually know that Tuna wants to be showered with gifts, because so far she hasn't received even one. What we DO know is that she wants someone who WANTS to do this for her--who will be thinking of her when he passes the cookie shop, and remember that she likes macadamia nut praline; who will take her up in a hot air balloon for her birthday, because it's something she's always wanted to do; who will pick a flower along a country roadside and say, "This is the exact color of your eyes." After it's happened once or twice, her hunger for these things may be satisfied, and she may be able to settle into a less "gifty" mode.
The thing is, she can't settle yet, because she'd be settling. She can certainly object to being treated the way she was treated in a relationship that wasn't working for her, and move on. Maybe relationships in the future will be more fulfilling.
And, Tuna? Let it go. He can take out a full-page ad in the New York Times to complain about your style, if he wants to. You don't need to care anymore.
Agree, agree, agree, Geo, 100%. Her boyfriend has it's proven to be an uncomfortable, dissastifying place to be. Tunatartar, I hope you've learned that you choose a guy because he's right for you rather than to choosing a guy then trying to turn him into the kind of guy you really want.
And yes, please stop giving what he or his parents think about your wardrobe any thought at all.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"