Should DW End Call When I Come Home?
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Should DW End Call When I Come Home?
| Fri, 07-14-2006 - 6:27pm |
Oh folks, here's the deal. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and once or twice a week, I'll come home from work and she will be talking to one of her friends on the phone. In my opinion, I believe she should politely indicate that I've arrived home and she will call them back later. After all, I've been away all day, and I would like to share a moment or two with my wife chatting about the day's events, etc.
Instead, she will continue her call for 20 minutes or more. I get very resentful when she does this because it hurts my feelings. I believe it is disrespectful to dismiss my arrival....and then to top it off, I'll go to our room to change my clothes, and she will open the door and tell me my dinner's on the table, all the while yacking away to her friend without a care in the world.
I've already had one discussion with her about this some time ago, and she got very defensive and implied that I was being petty about the whole situation. It really dampens my mood for the rest of the evening when she does this, because it makes me feel as if I'm not important to her.
Am I way off the mark here, or am I just being plain stupid and selfish? I'm sure this happens to many others, so I would appreciate opinions or thoughts on this situation and/or how you would handle this situation.
~SirToppemRat
Instead, she will continue her call for 20 minutes or more. I get very resentful when she does this because it hurts my feelings. I believe it is disrespectful to dismiss my arrival....and then to top it off, I'll go to our room to change my clothes, and she will open the door and tell me my dinner's on the table, all the while yacking away to her friend without a care in the world.
I've already had one discussion with her about this some time ago, and she got very defensive and implied that I was being petty about the whole situation. It really dampens my mood for the rest of the evening when she does this, because it makes me feel as if I'm not important to her.
Am I way off the mark here, or am I just being plain stupid and selfish? I'm sure this happens to many others, so I would appreciate opinions or thoughts on this situation and/or how you would handle this situation.
~SirToppemRat

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Well, I may be the only estrogen bearing individual on this post to think that getting off the phone is not such a bad idea.
The short period of time that I was a SAHM, when my (now ex) H would come home I would tell my GF's or mother
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
There was a small part of me being a little ornery.... ;)
Though there have been many, many times I was on the phone when H came home. I always would acknowledge that he was home. Usually still gave him a hug and kiss and would whisper who I was talking to and about what. Sometimes he'd tell me not to hurry in getting off... and then he'd check email, play with the kids or something. If it wasn't an IMPORTANT conversation, I would get off the phone in short order. And usually as soon as the person I was talking to knew that H was home--they'd get off the phone with me.
I guess my issue is the expectation that she isn't being a good wife by hanging up the phone the instant (or soon thereafter) that she knows he's home. If their marriage is fine and great in all other aspects then it seems like this is one he could let slide. But if it's a case where the marriage has it's issues, it could be the phone is her escape. And in that case, talking to her about getting off the phone isn't going to do much good.
But yeah, I hate when H thinks I should greet him and welcome him home but all he has to do is walk through the front door. :P
Jen
Edited to add: Oh yeah, there is also the issue that it doesn't really matter if we all think she should get off the phone or not. As long as she doesn't want to, it's not going to happen. The question I want answered is, why isn't she excited her H is home from work? And then the next question I would want answered is, instead of brooding and getting annoyed, what is he actively doing to show his wife that HE'S excited to be home with her and wants to be with her? If he wants her to change something, the best way is to give her a reason to change it. Not in the "I want you to change, now do it!" sense but the "I will love my wife the way she wants to be loved." way where she then wants to return the love in the way he would like.
Edited 7/18/2006 10:40 pm ET by imasillynut
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