Showing respect

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Showing respect
28
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 7:43am

Hi there
Please help me, my wife tells me I am not showing her respect. When we talked about it, it appears her idea of how to show respect is very different to mine. I certainly do respect her very much and showed it in my way, to her I wasnt showing her any.

So my question is how do you show your partner you respect them, what does respect mean to you?

Thank you very much for any advice!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: lon13
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 7:14pm

>>Yes, after further thought, I agree...if by "putting less demands on her" you went elsewhere for sex (cheated), then that's yet again a whole different kettle of fish<<

yes, that's true. But by the same token, he could have just been using the odd bit of porn for sexual release. There's no use in trying to guess what happened....

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lon13
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 7:18pm

You're right and I don't mean to jump to conclusions. I'm just thinking that it would make her not wanting to let go and move on a whole lot more understandable if that's what happened.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: lon13
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:11pm
Ahhh....it's just that I've read too many posters who have a HUGE reaction to issues that are fairly minor in the grand scheme of things.
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lon13
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:56pm

Or it may not be about infidelity or porn at all. Whatever it is, it's obvious that it's done quite a number on her and the relationship. We know she's really angry, but we don't know what's behind it. She's been bashed for poor communication, but he he said that he did whatever he did without explanation, left her in the dark to understand what was behind the change, whatever it was. It wasn't until they were in therapy, what, a year later?, that it came out as the reason for her upset. Clearly, neither of them communicated with the other very well. He didn't explain what he was doing and she didn't ask or express herself verbally to let him know it upset her. You do have to give her the fact that she got them into counseling.


Lon, I'm not trying to bash or blame you either, but without knowing what it is that happened, it's impossible to have any kind of clarity on the situation and without that, it's pretty much impossible to offer any suggestions that can begin to make sense to your situation or stand a chance of being correct or fair.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
In reply to: lon13
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:11pm

Well this is a little suspicious, isn't it? He's all about answering until questions start being asked about what his wife is so upset about then he stops cold. It looks to me like things aren't quite what he wanted to paint them as.

I guess that answers our questions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: lon13
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 4:49pm

I disagree. If I had a dollar for every poster who dropped off their post - even when they've done nothing wrong - I'd be a rich woman.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
In reply to: lon13
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 5:25pm
Yeah, a fair number drop off, but not like this. What I mean is there are a number of posters who post then never come back. Questions are aked of them, answers are given, whatever, they're never heard from again. THAT's usual, I think. But to come back and come back while people are piling on sympathy, agreeing that their spouse is wrong, unreasoanble, etc. then suddenly stop when questions are asked about what it is that he did that started this? That's not so usual.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: lon13
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 7:53pm

It doesn't matter.

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