Somthing I've been thinking about.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Somthing I've been thinking about.......
12
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 12:48pm
I was married once before. It only lasted 3 months however because I realized that I just didn't love him. I was pressured a lot from my family who are very religious. I thought that I could be with a man that I didn't fully love. I mean I loved him as a person but I wasn't madly in love with him. There were some other issues on to why I left also.(it'll take too long to write all about it though) Here is what I've been thinking...but haven't found an answer to yet....Is it better to be with a man that you don't really love, but loves you unconditionally? That will provide EVERYTHING and would litterally lay down his life for you? Or is it better to live with a man that you are in love with, do everything for, but have great struggles and have a pretty rocky relationship (on his end)? Which is better to have?? I mean I'm only 23, I have a son and another kid on the way. And I just want to be settled and established already. I don't want to be like my real mom who jumped from guy to guy and to this day is still not happy. I'm afraid that I"m going to end up like that. It's scarying me. What do you think?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 2:57am

And if you think getting out now is impossible, take a look at this member's profile, and pay special attention to what she says she's most proud of:


mommyluvspunx


Mommyluvspunx started out posting on this board as a pregnant mother of two in an abusive marriage, we urged her to post on the Domestic Abuse board and she did. She kept on posting and eventually left her abusive husband. She didn't do it over night and it wasn't easy, but she did it. Just something to think about, and maybe a little inspiration.


You deserve it all, Elm, the happiness, the love, the security, the real partnership.
And you can get it too, you just have to make it happen.







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 5:38pm
I would definetly have to agree that the scenarios you presented were very black and white in the sense that you did not leave room in them for life to actually happen. What I mean is there isn't just those two types of relationships. There are relationships in which each partner loves the other at the same level, but being scared to risk everything for that achievemnet causes hesitation when it comes to breaking up. WIth that being said, you have to not lower your standards for anyone. Expect the best for yourself and never settle, even if that means being single until you meet Mr. Perfect.

 

bellyblinkie

Pages