Is stability enough for a marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Is stability enough for a marriage?
12
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 12:55pm

I posted about 2 weeks ago with my situation.

Is wanting out of a marriage because you are not "in love" wrong? My main issues is that I've felt like my husband has been my child for the last almost 9 years. I have constantly had to tell him what to do when it comes to the kids, and pretty much in general. He doesnt speak up for himself at work either. I have no attraction to him because of this, and sex has been forced with outside help for me (alcohol or dirty movies). I'm tired of this. Of either having to "tie a few on" in order to get in the mood or watch porn. We haven't kissed in years. I can't. It almost repulses me.
The counselor pointed out that its because I see him as almost one of my children, and that would be wrong to have sex w/ my child (thats just weird, but made sense).

But he is a good person. And I can be friendly with him as long as he doesnt want sex. He has a good work ethic. He wouldn't be where he is today if I and my father didn't push him though.
Should having a man with a stable job be enough?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 2:05am

Yes, your right. There is alot to think about right now. Its all so overwhelming for both of us. We've talked about spending time apart so we can think. And we are going to probably do that.

Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:28am

I would say that once you restore the adult/adult dynamic to your relationship instead of pushing the parent/child agenda you're pushing, you may see him 'man up'.

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