Such a thing as too generous?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Such a thing as too generous?
12
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:38am

I feel like a scrooge asking this...but my husband's generosity has become an issue between us.

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 2:14am

Welcome to the board, Irishtea ~

I don't think you're being "Scrooge" and I absolutely think there is such a thing as being too generous.

One question before I go further...it sounds like it isn't just that your husband feels he has to give because of the amount he makes, it sounds like he specifically thinks he owes his family something.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 8:55am

Thank you for your reply, 2nd life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 10:18am

Was his generosity something that initially attracted you to him, and if so was it different in the beginning?

It sounds to me like he feels responsible for everyone else, and one thing that happens when people feel overly responsible for other people is they don't take very good care of themselves.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 11:47am

I agree with the previous poster.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 7:13pm

How about setting a family budget where you and your husband determine what are the expenses that you absolutely need to pay for, e.g. mortgage, groceries, medical, insurance, etc.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 2:51am

Irishtea, I apologize for not having replied before now.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 2:12pm

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 2:26pm

Have you asked him why he feels responsible for his sister and what he thinks about her own responisibility for her situation?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 12:48pm

It kind of seems to me that you & your DH have different ideas about how to spend money & that is really the cause of the conflict.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 9:47pm

Hi CL-2nd life -

It's taken over 24 years, but my husband has finally seen the light as far as his sister is concerned.

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