"Taking things one day at a time..."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
"Taking things one day at a time..."
13
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 9:40pm

I don't know if i would call this a problem per say, but this is the closest category.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 10:29pm

Lemonade, only he knows what it really means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 10:33pm
Okay, when I say that's his philosophy, I mean, he needs to not stress about things and takes them as it comes. He is in school and about a year away from him PhD, he's very financially responsible, and does have his life together. i just wasn't sure if maybe he just didn't want to jump the gun on things...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 11:52pm

IMO, this means that he is not ready for permanent commitment in life. He is young, but at age 29, not so young. You have also been with him 1 1/2 years, a substantial time to get to know each other. I might give him another couple of years, if your relationship is otherwise good. However,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 11:56pm

Did you mean to say something?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 1:57am

OK, so we've established that he can and does plan the things that are important to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 2:01am

Oops, sorry but at first your post didn't show, so I thought it was a mistake!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 2:18am
Do you believe that he is the one for you? Or is it more of your own timeline ticking? He may want to finish his education, get a job and then get married? Is that okay with you? Are you comfortable with waiting? Because that's what really matters. I remember planning my own life timeline. Nothing happened when I thought it should. Too many unpredictable occurrences. It'll all work out as it should. You just wait and see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 6:02am

That answer is double sided.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:24am

He may be a linear thinker rather than a parallel thinker - focus on one thing at a time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:55am

I would first think about what you want for your own future. It's not possible to have a conversation that really goes anywhere unless you are pretty sure about what you want. What about the important stuff - You are 25, still quite young, so do you want to see yourself married someday? With kids? If so, how long would you ideally like to wait for both of those? It's not possible to get a good answer on "do you see some type of future with me" from a man because you're not asking anything specific enough for him to answer.

There are people who "live for the moment" without thinking about questions you're asking. It's easy for these people to say "I love waking up with you" but if you ask them, "can you promise me you'll love waking up with me tomorrow and the next day?"

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