Things are better but.......
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| Tue, 06-20-2006 - 5:19pm |
I've really listened to many of the posters that gave me their advice/suggestion in my threads and I have really appreciated it. Since I've been initiating affection more, we are a little bit more affectionate. Even my hubby has been initiating affection and it was actually nice having sex the other night. We haven't had sex in about 3 months and when we finially did, I thought things were getting better.
We had a very long discussion; a calm discussion when he got back from his trip. And he stated that just being affectionate isn't just all of it....meaning, just communicating everday. And we don't do that very well. He says "we think different "philosophically". I really have no idea what he means by that and he said he didn't want to explain it because we would end of arguing. I thought just because you think things differently doesn't mean you can't be close, however, he states it does affect it. So, now I'm thinking maybe we can't be close.
There's another thing. We've been both initiated affection these last week. Last night we were watching a movie and he pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arm around his and for a few minutes I thought "wow, this is really nice"...and then he removes his arms around mine and then just drapes his arm over his chest. I was confused. But I continued watching the movie until it ended. And then after it ended I asked him in a "joking" kind of way, "It was nice to cuddle with you until you moved your arm away" and then he replied "well, your dog was in the way (my dog was nowhere in sight) and then he said "well, my arm was asleep" (there's no way his arm was asleep). So my feelings were hurt.
It seems like my hubby likes to hug and snuggle with his daughter/stepson/my dog longer than he does his own wife. Its like he has a "different" type of affection with me compared to everyone else. I thought "initiating" affection for a week would cure all this distance/tension.
So my question is
1. My hubby thinks we think different "philosophically". How can we communicate better if he thinks this way.
2. Why would he pull away like that?

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Yep, what Jen said. He would have heard you blaming him for ruining the cuddle. If a partner said to me what you said to your husband, I'd be very offended.
Aleternatives would have been "It was nice to cuddle with you." Or "that was a lovely cuddle you gave me at the start of the movie"
Or better yet would have been to say nothing and simply initiate further cuddles when he re-arranged his arm.
Also, you're probably wondering why he gave you different stories about why he moved his arm away. Truth be known, he probably didn't even remember doing it and was guessing at reasons.
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