tired of same old conversation

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
tired of same old conversation
3
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 7:33am
I will make it short and sweet and to the point. Married 19 years. Is too lazy to do anything for me in regards to sex or romance. His idea of foreplay is grabbing a part of me and telling me to go put on something sexier. Strange part is that i wasn't too bad to start with i guess. For his 40th birthday i went out on a limb for him. Did some really sexy things for him but after a month he had the comment like i had mentioned before. He never plans anything. He wants to lay there and have me dance around etc but the sad part is that he really doesn't see this. We have talked about it a million times and for about 3 weeks he is into it but then he reverts back to his lazy ways and nothing. but when the sex life gets a little dull he asks me why i am not into it. WTF? Is it cause he really is just that lazy or cause he can't even admit that he doesn't want to do these things for me? or both?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:20am

Welcome back,








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:42am

Deanna, I read your previous posts and only one thing comes to mind -- why are you still doing this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 3:17am

I completely agree with Kimbirdy and don't really know what can be said that hasn't already been said in previous responses to you. Like Kim said, your posts are pretty much the same which means there has been no improvement in your situation, that being the case, the answers won't change either. Did you re-read your old posts? I get the feeling you're looking for an answer that will change your husband, but that's not possible and clearly, after all this time, it's not going to happen. The only thing you can change is you, in staying with him you have to decide if you can happily accept living with him as he is or if that's not enough for you. Clearly it's not enough or you wouldn't keep looking for solutions to a problem that you can't change. So as Kim asked, what keeps you there? Previously you said it was your teenage sons, but the example they're getting by living with your husband is that his actions are appropriate and correct, they're learning to treat women the way your husband treats you, and they're I'll bet they show you the same amount of respect that your husband shows you. They learned it from him and by staying in the situation you let them know it's what you deserve.


I think you deserve more. I think they deserve more too.







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"