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|Fri, 10-15-2010 - 9:02pm|
I need someone to tell me if I am being unreasonable. Maybe I just have unreasonable expectations of what a great relationship should be. I don't know. I always thought the in the perfect relationship you should be open and honest, be best friends, can tell eachother anything. That's what I want out of life and that is what I thought I had until recently.
Ok some background, my boyfriend and I are living together. We each have one son. We have been dating for about 18 months and my son and I moved in to his house about 4 months ago. When we were living separate things we really good. We did have the occasional disagreement but all in all things were pretty great. So we talked about marriage and my son and I moving in. We are 12 years apart in age. He is older than I am.
Over the past month, things have gone down hill slowly but surely. We don't get along like we used to. I can't sleep. I get these nagging type feelings all the time. Something was clearly wrong I just didn't know what. So I did a very bad thing and checked his cell phone. I know I shouldn't of but the nagging feeling wouldn't go away and do you know how hard it is to not be able to sleep?
Well on his phone he has been talking to women. Several in fact. One is his ex. I found several texts and phone calls. Nothing like "pillow talk" just general how's it going type of talk. I feel betrayed. I thought we were BFF's, could tell eachother anything. If his conversations were so innocent why is hiding them, not telling me. I am not a over jealous person. If he has "girl" friends I can deal with that, but why hide it from me.
I confronted him after holding it in for about two weeks. He was ticked that I checked his phone. He said that "that was his business" and not mine. (I thought we were in a relationship??)
There is also other things that are going on, but nothing that is enough for me to leave. Everyone has to work on their relationships right? Am I being ridiculous? I just wonder if I would be better off alone sometimes. I did enjoy my space when we were not living together. Now I feel like I have to answer to someone again. (This is only my second "Adult" relationship) I got pregnant with my son at 17 and stayed with his father for almost 10 years then we divorced. Is this my rebound relationship?
I am tired of giving, loving, thinking of forever.... only to get hurt, pain, anger, resentment.