Trying to sell relocating to my partner

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2010
Trying to sell relocating to my partner
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 3:14pm
Hi All,
I am looking for some advice on a bit of a complicated subject so I think it's best if I start from the beginning.
I originally grew up in a lovely picturesque town near Oxford, UK.Six years ago I left to start university in Preston in the North West of the UK (about a 3 and a half hour drive) which is where I met my partner.He is from the area and when I finished University in 2007 we decided we wanted to live together and as I had enjoyed university and had essentially already made the leap moving away from home,we started renting in the area.
Within weeks I was struggling as all the friends I had made left the area to go home and I found myself in a job that I don't like that doesn't pay well, just to be able to afford to live.
I have spent the past 3 years searching for other work but have so far failed and after bouts of depression and loneliness I have not been able settle here, have made no friends and spend all my time at work or sat at home.
After a recent holiday with my family and the birth of my nephew I really want to be back with my family.
My partner has just qualified as a teacher and so we have the luxury that his job can go anywhere in the country,but I need to sell a relocation to him.
We would have to be on a tighter budget,the rent would cost more. I think I could earn more and as I want a career in science, there are more science jobs within 10 miles of Oxford compared to 10 miles of where I currently live. The move would however mean he would have to move away from his friends and family
We could move September at the earliest so at that point I will have been here 4 years and so sometimes I think it is fair to live where I want to for 4 years as we will have spent the last 4 years living where he wanted.
I know he is worried if we moved there we would never move back but I know if we are here we will never move down there and when it comes to me having a family I really want to be close to my mum.
I know this is a long one and I prob come across as selfish wanting to move closer to home but I think a new start would be great.
I just want some ideas and thoughts as I don't want him to force him to move as he would resent me but I want to sell him the idea and make him want to give it a try.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 10:17pm

How serious are you about your BF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 11:03pm

If you don't want to force him, then don't worry so much about his decision making process.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 2:55am

Welcome to the board, Frizz2kuk ~

I don't see anything selfish or wrong with you wanting to move the both of you back to your home.

~ cl-2nd_life