Update to Cntrlling Emotion. abusive bf

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Update to Cntrlling Emotion. abusive bf
1
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 9:07pm
To everyone whos helped me,

the other day (21st) i decided to break up with him. i explained it all to him, and he understood, apologized, and said he would do anything i asked to change, he would do anything not to lose me. he asked ifi would promise him that i wouldnt think about breaking up again until i found out he couldnt change, if that happened. well just that night, and the day later, he has been acting different and i consulted him with this also. hes doing the whole 'trying to make me feel guilty for it' thing, which i know abusive men will do. its focused on how bad he feels now and that junk. i had talked myself into not wanting to be with him, and now i still am, so im half happy i am, and half im not, i've been thinking about what i would say now to break up with him, but i feel so lame and immature that i have to do it again. i know he will feel even worse this time, and i feel i will look like the bad guy.



Avatar for jenniferstell
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 11:50am
Good for you! I wish that I had had the strength and fortitude at your age to end the abusive relationship that I stayed in for 7 years. I know it's hard to break it off, but you're one of the lucky ones for breaking it off now, before it gets so much worse! Just remember: You will feel guilty now, but the guilt will go away rather quickly. If you back down and stay, the hurt will last for years, shaping the person that you become. Don't let that happen to you! Swallow the guilt, get him out of your life, and grow and flourish! NOW is your chance!