Was I In The Wrong???
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| Thu, 07-06-2006 - 9:09am |
I need honest opinions here, please take the time to read. My bf and I have been together a year now. We don't live together, he's still lives at home, I live in an apt with a roommate. All in all, I'd say we have a great r'ship. Anyway, sometimes I stay over night during the week, but not often because I go to work 2 hrs before him, so I go to bed early.
Well his parents are out of town, so I'm staying over this week. He called yesterday afternoon and asked if I cared if his friend came over to help him fix his car. I said that's fine, and that I would just stay home, (because typically when that friend comes over, they pretty much sit and get drunk until 2am.) But he insisted I come over and that the car wouldn't take all night. So I did. And as usual, I went to bed at 9pm and they sat up till 2am getting drunk. And his friend's gf showed up so she was upstairs drinking with them too.
And they're being loud and of course I can't sleep. By 11pm I was pissed. I mean, why have me over if he's going to get trashed with his friend while I sleep. And I didn't mind staying home. So he finally comes to bed at 1am, tries to cuddle with me, yeah, I don't think so. So I told him how I felt, and then he got pissed because I'm mad, and he rolls over and passes out. Meanwhile I'm laying there upset and sad, and can't fall alseep now that we argued.
So now this morning I'm exhausted after 3 hrs of sleep, and feel bad because we had a fight. But really, how would you feel? Am I in the wrong here?

First off he is immature and inconsiderate/selfish. You read the situation right so you should have stuck to your guns and either not gone or gone and left at 9:00 so you could get a good night's sleep.
One point of advice for you....in the future when he is drunk, I would not tell him how you feel. You are not going to get a reaction that you are happy with. He is drunk and horny....he sure doesn't want to, nor is he capable of, discussing your disapproval of his behavior with his friends and the fact that he is immature and inconsiderate. That conversation is not going well no matter what in this situation. Doesn't mean you should have sex with him and pretend everything is wonderful...but I would just avoid the conflict. Later when he is away from the influence of his friends and the alcohol, you can try to talk to him about how he made you feel. It may still not go well but his repsonse to you will be telling (does he listen and apologize, or quickly turn it back on you).
It is tough dating someone immature....if you see more of this type of immature behavior you may consider finding someone that is a little further along on the growth track instead of waiting for this one to grow up.
P.
Welcome back,
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Hi kwhere,
Based on this and
In answer to your post, you didn't read the situation wrong, but for the life of me I don't know why you'd be there in the first place. A 28-year old woman staying at her boyfriend's house because his parents are gone for the weekend? I think you knew exactly what to expect, him being drunk, immature and juvenile. I know it's not what you want to hear, but this whole situation sounds like a teenager's problem; it sounds like you're in a relationship with your irresponsible teenage brother.
Like Kimbirdy, I don't understand why you're satisfied to stay in a relationship with someone who's not your equal. This isn't a partner, it's a teenage son to take care of. What does a seemingly responsible, adult woman want with someone who lives at home, has all his needs taken care of and blows all his money on toys and beer?
I know you've said you're looking toward marriage and perhaps a baby before that. Having a baby with this guy would have you responsible for both of them, an infant and an overgrown child. Why would you be satisfied with someone who's not at all on your maturity or equality level?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto.....you keep getting upset that he acts immature....well to-date we have not heard of anything he has done or anything about his life situation that would be inconsistent with anything other than HE IS IMMATURE....so if it bothers you why are you with him!!!!
P.