When to draw the line

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2014
When to draw the line
Tue, 02-18-2014 - 10:31am

My fiance and I have been together 13 years off and on (2 years straight off).  He proposed to me in 2001 I said yes but ended up getting cold feet.  When we split we both got married.  We have been through so much together from his dad dieing when we first got together to my medical issues and very dysfunctional family.  After I had surgery, he waited on me had and foot.  I really believe he loves me but I also really believe he is cheating on me. We have had sex once since last April.  Due to financial issues we had to move to seperate homes then.  He swears he isnt and he wants to get married but my feelings are strong that he is.  I love him to death and only want to be with him.  BUT I don't want to be an option to him.  He says we don't have sex because he just doesn't get "that feeling" anymore (he is 40 and I am 30). He thinks it is a medical issue.  I told him I would never leave him but I want a relationship where I am loved and am the only one.  I want to be the one that makes him happy, I want to be good enough for him.  It would be extremely hard but I could go on with out him I just really, really don't want to.  I don't know what to do.  Do I believe him? Do I go with my instinct which has been wrong about things before?  Everything I do is for him and our kids. He wants to get married this Halloween but I don't think I can with the feelings I have of him cheating. I believe marriage is forever.  My first marriage ended because it was toxic and he ended up leaving state.  If I get married again there won't be a divorce.  I am just so lost and confused on what to do and what to believe.  I have no solid proof he is cheating....just feelings.