Where do I fit in? Or more like do I have to wait until I am married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Where do I fit in? Or more like do I have to wait until I am married?
9
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 10:30pm

This has become a major issue in our relationship and we are currently not even talking, though we live together.

Ok this is the issue.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

Welcome to the board, Simplegirl1962 ~

First, to be clear, this is his daughter's wedding, correct?

Personally, I don't see this as an issue at all.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Simplegirl, I understand that you are hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I think you are so incredibly, remarkably, impossibly unreasonable that your fiance should probably dump you and find someone who can be a guest at a wedding and not punish him for his daughter's wedding. He is entitled to good memories of his daughter's wedding... Instead he will remember what a b**** his girlfriend was.

Maybe the reason he lied to you was because he knew he would have to be in his ex's presence, and he didn't want you causing trouble.

In any case, it is NOT your place to interfere with his daughter's wedding. Both he and his ex are this girl's parents... Get over it. Family is whatever people want it to be. Thank GOD his daughter feels close enough to them that she felt she was able to invite both of them to her wedding and have pictures of her special day together. That is wonderful.

Pictures that YOU don't need to display in your home, but you insisted on controlling anyway. Newsflash: He doesn't have a problem taking a picture with his ex. YOU do. That's the only reason he ever told you he would avoid taking a picture with her. Because he didn't want YOU to be upset.

I don't even know what else to say. You are so selfish, this whole post is "I think" and "I feel he should" and "I did X and Y so he should too"... You're right, there are a lot of red flags. HE should be running from YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010

Thank you so much for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010

Thank you all for your opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Can I be (painfully) honest and admit that I did VERY similar things in my last relationship? Eventually he grew to resent me so much that the breakup didn't bother him at all. At the time, all I could think about was "me me me" (even at his sister's wedding) and I really hate the way I acted. I'm ashamed of it, even thinking of it now. I hope you haven't done as much damage as I did, and that he forgives you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

I completely understand how you felt, you went as a date and felt abandoned and alone. I had a situation whereas my husband was asked to give away the daughter of an ex girlfriend and the daughter was not even his biological child,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010

Update...

I have to admit that when I came to this forum I was looking for everyone to agree with me and planned on showing him the results, but to my surprise I was wrong.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

It sounds like a lot positive came from this, Simplegirl, and that's great!


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_