Why does mention of his x bother me?
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| Wed, 08-17-2005 - 4:01pm |
I posted this in second wives, but thought this may be more appropriate..
My SO of 4 years has been married (and divorced) two times prior to us meeting. I've met his first wife, the one he's had children with. We actually get along wonderfully (probably because she lives in another state) and we talk on a somewhat regular basis, even though the kids are pretty much grown now (SO raised them).
His second wife, who also lives in another state seems to bother me. She is totally out of the picture, they've never had children together, and she gets under my skin. He moved down south with her for 2 years, and the mention of that state makes my skin crawl, because it reminds me of him and her together there.
We currently live in a house that they built together, and he says that we will move one day (not for at least 3 years though, b/c he just claimed bankruptcy due to HER ex-husband's debts he took on).
Some collection company called and left a message for her the other day and I was so upset by it....how dare they call HER on MY phone....Its really starting to get on my SO's nerves, and in general, I am not at all a jealous person. What is the problem, and how do I stop feeling like this? I have an ex, and he has put me and SO through a lot of hell, and SO deals with it so well. What is my problem/insecurity about and how do I get rid of it

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Believe me, I did have a garage sale, sold some of my stuff (duplicate toaster, microwaves, etc), got rid of anything having to do with apple decorations in the kitchen and painted it to my liking. He lets me do that stuff.
After 4 years, I think a lot of it is the not "knowing" her, but you'd think it would be easy by now
I guess it could go one of two ways, four years of getting used to her/the situation or four years of constant and continued irritation. Repeated irritation tends to irritate further, not calm things. You're tired of dealing with it and I think that's understandable. Hopefully taking care of the things that you can and working on letting go the things that you can't control will help. Good luck!
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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