Why is he doing this & What should I do?
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|Thu, 05-15-2003 - 2:31am|
I am very good to him and try to maintain the relationship although I was experiencing depression problems myself. He never takes me out anywhere, we usually don't go out and do much besides stay at his house, and he doesn't try to carry deep conversations or learn new things about me the way a guy does when he is interested/first dates a girl. I know we are more serious than a couple who has just started dating, but I know we have much more to find out about each other, we just don't. I try to, (kinda) I want to, but I don't have the best communication skills, I've always been 'the quiet one' my whole life. He on the other hand claims to be so great at it, but doesn't take the initiative to do so. Why I wonder? Is he bored with me? It's like when I do try to get us to have some fun together he is still programmed to 'bored mode.'
At one point he said he loved me, and that I make him happier than he's ever been before. But then he sorta quit saying it after a while. It's one thing to not hear that your loved, but not to feel it? I know he didn't even realize that he wasn't showing the love, but once I brought it to his attention he got defensive about it. He almost acts as if he doesn't care and gets angry with me whenever I try to talk to him about anything like this.. Only when I cry does he show any compassion or see how serious I am and how much this is hurting me.
I did the only thing I felt I could still do, which was break up with him. The impression I got from him after telling him these things was that he didn't care enough to change for the better of the relationship, that it was too much of me to ask of him, and that he didn't want to stay with me if he was making me unhappy. He called me the next day to say that it was all he thought about since then and that everything i said to him (including what I said here) started to make sense to him and that he wants to stay friends and on good terms.
I'm going to wait for him to call me again now. But why can't he just show some love? Why is it so hard? I'm guessing that maybe he'll realize what he had now that it is gone. Is this the only way to get him to appreciate me? What are the chances of a guy actually coming back once you let them go under circumstances like these? Maybe time apart is the only way for the both of us to get ourselves and our relationship /frienship to mature/grow/last?? Will time make things better or worse? What should I do from here?