Why is she so upset with me still?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Why is she so upset with me still?
22
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 1:34pm
I need some help on this issue please...
Saturday night my girlfriend of six months and I went to a party, and she proceeded to get a little drunk... well she accidentally knocked me into a tikki torch, and my hair caught on fire! My hair is so long, so it could have potentially been really bad, but fortunately I put it out quick enough. Here's the tricky part though..., in the 10 seconds that it happened, after I put it out, I turned and lightly slapped my girlfriend... in front of her two friends. I know this is a HUGE no-no, and if I could take it back, I would. But I wasnt thinking very rationally, and it was just my reaction to seeing my hair on fire, knowing it could have been really bad, and my girlfriend was the cause.
Well, she didnt take being slapped to well. She said he would rather be spit on then slapped, its such an insult, why was that my reaction, my hair isnt as important as my girlfriend, Samson and Dalila was actually brought up by one of her friends.... she continued to say all kinds of things about being slapped, not once apologizing for accidentally pushing me into the flames. I told her I didnt want to fight, and tried to walk away. Well, we ended up leaving, and called it a night. Yesterday we decided to talk about it, and she continued to try to make me feel really bad. In the grand scheme of things, the incident is not that big of a deal, but I think she is milking the situation because she has a temper herself, and this one time I lost my temper. I was supposed to go to her family's house yesterday for a BBQ, but we both decided it wasnt a good idea. The whole family was asking about me, and she made sure to tell me that today, again trying to make me feel bad. My question is, should I suck it up, and let her vent, or is she wrong to continue this, and just has anger issues? How I decide to handle this could make or break our relationship. I really care about her, but Im embarressed and hurt. I dont want her or her friends to think Im an a$$ with a temper, cuz thats just not true. I dont know if I can ever face them again..We broke up once already because of her temper, but things were fine until this happened.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:21pm

Lled, I respect that you feel strongly about this but I just don't agree with you on several aspects of this, including whether she is taking responsibility.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:46pm

Thanks Sheri. I understand the we all can see things differently.

I do (obviously) feel very strongly about this subject. I thought, at one point early on that she was truly taking responsibilty and understood. Then others supported that her BF was in the wrong and she had an understandable reaction. So since then, the constant denial and excuses tell me a differnt story. There really is no excuse or justification that will ever make me see the other side. The only thing that would get there is her truly taking 100% responsibility.

I know that others wouldn't see it like I do and like I said earlier, if I would have been very forgiving, myself, if I found myself in her boyfriends shoes (far to co-dependent here). I also understand that men and woman are different and therefore, situations will be looked at and treated different by posters here, by the police, by the court system and by society in general and I'm sure by me.

So, I'll be the first to say that my feeling strongly about this is clearly an exception, rather than the rule.

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