A woman from his past is trying to break us up

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
A woman from his past is trying to break us up
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 7:35am

I have been with my partner for 7 years now. i wont say its all been plain sailing, but we are, sorry was very happy. About 3 months ago a woman he had sex with a few times got back in touch after 20 years, claiming her Son of 19 is my partners. he kept this from me for a few weeks, and i wasupet when i found out he kept it from me. But when he explained, he had never had a relationship with her, he had been on the rebound and selpt with her a few times got back with his ex and never saw her again. I istantly said ok fine first things first DNA, he said we dont need it i know he is mine! i wasnt sure what was going on i thought he had gone crazy. but now i see what the mother of this child is doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:07am

First of all, I think your partner is crazy for not insisting on a DNA test.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 9:34pm

Welcome to the board, Tinks1408 ~

This woman is married, living with her husband and doing this without his knowledge?

~ cl-2nd_life

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 10:09am

Hi Tinks,

First of all the issue here is with your partner, not his former girlfriend.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 11:54am

I disagree with contacting an attorney. This child isn't yours, you don't have any legal right to force anyone to divulge information or get a DNA test. The only thing you have control over here is whether or not you're in a relationship with a person whose life is so convoluted.

It's pathetic that this man won't get a paternity test. It's even more pathetic that he thinks YOU are being dramatic.

The woman sent your partner a "daddy's first father's day card" regarding his son who is NINETEEN years old and an adult.

This is really disturbing. I wouldn't live with it. My parting words would be this:

"My life was just torn apart and if you think I'm being dramatic, then you're not acknowledging the insanity of this entire situation. If it were just an issue of having a long-lost son, then I could deal with it, but I am being harrassed and you are being duped. If you truly believe you have a son, he is 19 years old and not a child anymore. There is no reason to have a relationship with his insane mother. If you want to have a relationship with me, you will do everything in your power to keep her from hijacking our lives. If you can't, then I need to look out for my own life and that means extracting myself from an intolerable situation."