3. Lessons cont. - Language of Assertion
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|Mon, 11-07-2005 - 3:19am|
The Language of Assertion
1. "I" statements:
2. Statement of Personal Reference and Personal Meaning:
3. Statements of Request:
4. Statement of Offering Compromise:
5. Asking for Time:
6. Asking for clarification instead of ASSUMING:
7. AVOID demanding and blaming statements:
When ________(Describe behavior)______________
I feel ________(State your feeling)______________
Because ___(Concrete effect or consequence of your situation)_________
I’d appreciate ____(When purpose is to request something)___
- or -
I appreciate it! _____(When communicating satisfaction)__________
8. Allow your body posture to be as assertive as your words.
Maintain good eye contact. Keep your shoulders erect and stance firm. Keep your voice at a level necessary to get your message across effectively. A very soft voice often increases the change of not feeling as if you have any right to say anything, while a very loud tone is often a sign of aggression. Body image is important in that even before we are feeling assertive, it can help us to begin to convey an assertive image and thus gain confidence.
9. Avoid using apologies when they are not appropriate.
Sometimes beginning with “I’m sorry but...” takes away from the effectiveness of our messages and gives the other person the impression we don’t feel we have a right to say what we are saying.
** SEE PART 4 - TO FOLLOW **
4. Lessons cont. - More on Communication