5 Rules for a Happy Relationship

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Registered: 03-26-2003
5 Rules for a Happy Relationship
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 1:19am
1. Do Affirm. Don’t Take Your Partner for Granted.

Be sure to praise and give credit for the good things your partner may do or say. Don’t forget to notice and compliment your partner -- whether it is their cooking, sense of humor, or how well they took care of you when you were sick. Everyone needs appreciation, otherwise they can become resentful and sad. Studies show that men are happier in their relationships when they receive positive affirmation from their partners.

2. Communicate. Don’t Rely on Mind Reading.

Keep in mind that it is important to regularly share your personal thoughts and feelings with your partner. Don’t assume your partner can read your mind just because you have been together for a long period of time. Couples often make the unfortunate mistake of assuming that by handling daily tasks together, they fulfill the communication requirement for a relationship. Talking to each other about who will get the groceries, pick up the kids, or clean the house does not constitute communication. All couples need to have moments alone with each other to thoughtfully share goals, feelings, and consider life and its meaning.

3. Fight Fairly; Don’t Argue in a Destructive Manner.

Be aware of how you and your partner handle conflict. Some disagreements are inevitable, and it doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble. But don’t let your arguments turn into destructive conflicts. Try to resolve your disagreements, even if you agree to disagree. Shouting, name calling, withdrawing and otherwise not fighting fair can be destructive for relationships over time. Studies also show that men and women see conflict very differently. While a man may fight and move on, a woman may hold on to that conflict for a long time.

4. Share the Workload. One Partner Should not be Overburdened.

Don’t forget to divide the child-care and household tasks fairly and equitably, as much as possible, between the two of you. If one person feels as if they are doing it all, this can become overwhelming. Women in particular want to feel like their partners are contributing and pitching in to help around the house and with childcare. It doesn’t have to be equal, just fair to both partners. Studies show that when husbands help around the home, women are much happier in their marriages.

5. Work on Romance; Don’t Blame.

Passionate love does decline over time, it is inevitable in all relationships. Don’t blame the relationship or each other for the loss of excitement. But renewing that spark or passion is not impossible, and there is no doubt that its presence makes a relationship stronger. Do new and exciting things together, get away as a couple, and hold hands.

"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"