emotionally availability

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
emotionally availability
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 12:47pm
10 signs he/she may not be emotionally avaiable:

He's successful, handsome, articulate and yours — at least you think so. Suddenly your lives get stressful, and his emotional detachment rears its ugly head, usually when you could use an extra dose of TLC.

Some guys would love to give women more emotional attention, but they just don't know what to do when you're feeling blue. Others drop everything and run for cover. Those guys aren't about to wipe your tears when you're sad or hold your hand when you're sick.

How do you tell the difference? Watch for these 10 signs to help you spot the fella who might bail when times get tense:

1. He isn't the affectionate type and thinks a 10-minute roll in the hay is being romantic and passionate. He never asks what you want but takes it for granted that he's satisfied you above and beyond.

2. He knows you're in a financial bind, but giving you a few bucks to carry you over until payday isn't something he's willing to do. Not surprisingly, he has no problem buying that new shiny pickup truck.

3. It's your birthday, and all you get is a telephone call. Then the bars close, and he's at your front door with cheap wine and sheepish grin.

4. You start to tell him about your rough day, and he interrupts with, "You think you had a rough day, let me tell you about mine ..."

5. He isn't interested in getting close to your family, and he doesn't spend much time with his either. Come to think of it, spending time with you is pretty rare, too.

6. You want to talk about where your relationship is going, and he wants to "take it slow." You agree, but when he starts to sing the same old tune after another several months, make sure you remove your rose-colored glasses.

7. He insists that what's his is his, and what's yours is yours. Sounds like a good sign of commitment-phobia to me.

8. Watch his interactions with others. Is he always a spectator or does he scramble for the spotlight? Both are possible signs of serious emotional detachment ahead.

9. He pays attention to you whenever it's convenient for him or when he wants something.

10. He orders for both of you at his favorite expensive restaurant without asking your opinion about anything. Since he seems to assume that you share his perspective, it isn't a far stretch to assume you'll soon have no voice at all.

If he isn't emotionally ready now, he may never be. Ask yourself: Do you really want a guy who thinks it's more important to wash his car than come to your rescue when the going gets tough? Emotional intimacy is a combination of heartfelt feelings, commitment and a genuine desire to be there for the other person. Don't give up in your quest to find Mr. Right; he is out there and waiting just for you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 12:49am
This needs a well-deserved bump to the first page!


"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 11:58pm


~ cl-2nd_life