Verbal Fencing With Someone You Love

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Verbal Fencing With Someone You Love
1
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 6:36pm
Every relationship has rough spots. Part of becoming a couple is sanding the rough spots down so you fit together nicely. This is the hard part of any relationship. No two people see eye to eye on every issue. We all bring our family history, childhood hang-ups and bad habits with us when we enter a relationship.


Compromise and acceptance help, but sometimes things just have to be dealt with directly. Sadly, however, blowups, tantrums and hissy-fits don't really solve problems, they just create barriers and wounds. So, how does a couple "argue" about things and solve disagreements? No one simple answer, but the following tips might help.

  • 1. Plan to argue.
    Don't just slip into an argument on the spur of the moment. If there is a problem which needs discussing, think about it first. Identify the real problem, not just the symptom. For example - partner A leaves the bathroom a mess after using it. What is the problem here? Basic differences in what "clean" means, or a total disregard for partner B? While you're contemplating the problem, also examine what, if







  • "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Tue, 12-28-2004 - 3:44pm
    bump ~

    ~ cl-2nd_life


    "You can't control the length of your life,
    but you can control the width and depth."

    ~ Author unknown








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"