Advice Please!! repost by mistake

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2013
Advice Please!! repost by mistake
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 9:03pm

Ok, to be honest this is not a relationship problem … yet. It is more a problem with me about my boyfriend, that is why I am asking for advice on here, before I go crazy and worry that is probably nothing, I hope.

Facebook is a huge thing obviously and this is where my problem starts. So my boyfriend friend a friend few months ago from high school that now lives in California and we live on the other side of the country. Obviously I had no problems with him Facebook friending girls, he is a very social, caring, nice guy.

Now, what I have heard about this girl and seeing the post she writes on my boyfriend's wall is that she is an exterminist in a lot of things, mainly for women rights, so she is a extreme feminist. And she is extreme into bondage, which I am told she is the both slave and master. I don't care what she believe or what she does for fun.

So anyway, I haven't had a problem with her until she posted a huge photo bondage event near to our home. Ok, I know it is silly to worry about the event, but my problem is that my boyfriend has never told me he was into bondage, ever. This makes me wonder what they have been talking about and why he haven't told me. Now she is always “liking” and posting on his status. Just now I just found out that my boyfriend has been having deep conversations with her.

I shouldn't be worry, I know I shouldn't. I am just having major trust issues when situations like this happen. Reason is that I was married before I met my boyfriend. My [ex]husband chatted with a girl on Facebook and never told me things anymore. He cheated on me with this girl. So, I hope you can understand why I am nervous.

My boyfriend keeps telling me his friend lives in California and he haven't seen her in 10 years. Ok, so he can't physically cheat on me, but that is not what I am afraid of. I am afraid of him emotionally cheating on.

I know I am overreacting, but I would like some advice on how to handle this. Please help.