file on husband's desktop

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2012
file on husband's desktop
15
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 2:10pm

I don't want to snoop around on my husband's computer but there's a folder on it I noticed a few months ago titled photoz. just to let you know, he has no issue at all with me using his computer. I never clicked this folder out of respect for his privacy and to avoid turning into a snoop but I've been getting more curious about it.  I've seen or have gained an understanding of most of the stuff on his laptop, except this on particular thing. One time I asked him about the file and he seemed to get a little uneasy and just said, it's just some photos I took. but number one, he didn't offer to show them to me, and second, what I also find odd is that he doesn't store them where he stores all of his photos on his laptop (he keeps all of those very well organized according to date in another file). I feel like I need to click on it for peace of mind. he travels for work a lot and i know he has some female coworkers he seems to be friends with. I trust him and he's never done anything to break my trust but I also know that sometimes you just really don't know people. One would think if they were photos of or from other women or something sick he would hide it a lot better instead of leaving it out in the open for me to take a look at. The other day I felt like pointing to the folder and asking him point blank what's in that file. or just come clean and admit that every time I see it I want to take a look at it. I don't know what to do, if I should just take a look at it or what. 

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Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 2:28pm

  Do not look.  Snooping is one place where nothing good comes from it.  The warning from thousands of years warn against snooping. 

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 3:09pm

Wouldn't it be funny if you were finally tempted beyond what you could handle and opened it, only to find a single text image reading... SNOOP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 2:42am

If he has nothing to hide and knows you use his computer I don't see any problem with looking if your that curious. In my opinion married people should be an open book to each other. I leave my phone and laptop laying around unlocked at all times and my H is welcome to go into either and look around all he wants cause I have nothing to hide from him so why would I care. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 3:01am

To add... I'd also be curious since he seemed to get uneasy when you asked about the photos, stores them seperate from all his other photos, and didn't offer to show you the photos.

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sat, 11-24-2012 - 6:50am

If he knows and is okay with you using his computer and the folder is sitting right there on the desktop, he's hardly hiding it from you! Maybe he got uneasy when you asked because it was a strange and random question. Maybe he didn't offer to show it to you because he knows you can always see for yourself. After you asked about it, it's not like it disappeared. It's probably nothing and I think you're allowing yourself to get carried away with this and it's now become an obsession and paranoia. You need to let this go - if you can't, you'll drive yourself insane and you might as well just ask him to show you what's in it. Just be prepared that he might get offended and hurt that you wouldn't trust him or would suspect him of hiding something malicious when he's given you no reason to believe that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
Sat, 11-24-2012 - 10:06pm

Maybe he's some sort of secret agent. Surprised j/k lol

Do you ever meddle in his stuff? You shouldn't, but if it isn't out of your way you should check it to see what's there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 11-25-2012 - 3:40am

Good point ukgirl. The file most likely would have disappeared after she asked about it IF there was anything suspicious in there, and in my opinion it really would not be snooping since he left it out in the open when he knows she uses his computer. Point is there's something about that particular file that's peaking her curiosity and it's probably going to bother her until she looks at it. I think she should just look at it and get it over with for her own peace of mind and because any day now the file could suddenly disappear, then she'd really be paranoid about what WAS in there.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 4:22pm

Not to overanalyze this to death but it would seem very strange if he put pictures he did not want you to see, right there in a folder on the desktop. Now since you asked him about it, and the folder is still there, there is the possibility that if it did in fact contain things he wanted to hide, he could have empited the folder and left the empty folder on the desktop. That way, it avoids the problem that if he deleted the whole folder suddenly, you might become suspicious and wonder why after you asked about it, did it disappear. Since you avoided looking in the folder, you have no idea if there were any files in there to start with. Not trying to create suspicions, just alternate scenarios.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2012
Wed, 11-28-2012 - 11:07pm

He seems to not mind you looking at his stuff, so rip the band aid off and look.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 5:42am
lol

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