Hello!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Hello!
3
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 1:24pm

Hello, everyone!!!

Hope everything is well!  Things have been rocky on my end but I am still doing my best to keep my head up. What's going on in your part of town?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: princessb07
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 2:06pm

I'm more of a lurker than poster but I'll chime in!

Things have been better. I'm a long-time snooper and try my best every time I'm left alone with his cell phone or computer. My pattern would be that I was good for a few months, and then I would give in.

Honestly, I never found anything substantial. All I did was invade his privacy and violate his space. Most of the time, he ended up telling me something I already knew because I had snooped. He keeps nothing from me. I wish I knew what I was looking for.

I can “easily” explain this away by pointing a finger at my past relationship. That guy always cheated on me and I always found out. My current BF is nothing like him and I was in serious danger of ruining a good relationship with my own trust issues. I had trouble accepting the fact that my relationship was healthy.

My current BF has 100% absolute trust in me and sometimes I feel like I'm carrying this dirty secret. If he runs out to the store and forgets his phone, I sometimes get "the urge" to look.

I've found that leaving the room, going outside, picking up a book, etc all help. A distraction is always a good thing for me.

I think about how he would feel if he caught me snooping through his phone. I think about what it would feel like to lose his trust. How incredibly hurt he would be. Those make it not worth it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: princessb07
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 12:59pm
Thanks for your response! I'm glad that you are doing better with your snooping. I'm sorry for your past hurts. It is extremely hard to get past trust issues when you have encountered so much in previous relationships. Hopefully, *fingers crossed*, he will continue to act in a manner that will build trust between the both of you. Just hope for the best!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: nad215
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 3:46pm

Thanks Princess!

Having your own set of "exercises" really helps. Along with reminding myself "Hey, this guys loves me. He has given me no reason not to trust him."

There are days when this is easier said than done. But every time I resist the urge, I'm a little more proud of myself.

Thank you again for your encouraging words.