I guess I'm a snoop now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010
I guess I'm a snoop now.
4
Fri, 04-05-2013 - 12:46pm

I don't really feel like I "snoop," but SO claims to not smoke (I knew he used to before we met).  I can smell it a mile away, and, to me, it's a dealbreaker.  There's obviously smoking going on because I can smell a stale smokey smell when he exhales.  He tells me it must be my imagination, but the smell is in his car too (he says he drives smokers around).  I found cigarettes in his car when I wasn't exactly looking for them.  I was looking for something else and had a feeling I'd find cigs too.  So, now I need to decide what to do.  I hate smoking.  I think it's filthy and disgusting and I told myself I'd never be with someone who is a smoker.  The relationship is fairly new, so I don't have a lot invested into it at this point.  I just wish he wouldn't have lied. 

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 04-05-2013 - 4:27pm

w0rdg1rl wrote:
<p>I don't really feel like I "snoop," but SO claims to not smoke (I knew he used to before we met).  I can smell it a mile away, and, to me, it's a dealbreaker.  There's obviously smoking going on because I can smell a stale smokey smell when he exhales.  He tells me it must be my imagination, but the smell is in his car too (he says he drives smokers around).  I found cigarettes in his car when I wasn't exactly looking for them.  I was looking for something else and had a feeling I'd find cigs too.  So, now I need to decide what to do.  I hate smoking.  I think it's filthy and disgusting and I told myself I'd never be with someone who is a smoker.  The relationship is fairly new, so I don't have a lot invested into it at this point.  I just wish he wouldn't have lied. </p>

Your best bet it to drop him off at the mall and keep going. He wants to smoke, so let him. This isn't the guy for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 9:56am

I agree with Kendahke.  A lie is a lie, and if you know that smoking is something you can't deal with then it's best to end it now.  I'm sorry he lied to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Wed, 08-07-2013 - 3:42pm

It isn't a "deal breaker" unless you act on it and dump him.  If you say it's a deal breaker, then rationalze why you should stay.....you're "training" him in how to behave later on in your relationship. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 12:25pm

Then he's the wrong person for you to be with.  There is nothing wrong with smoking being a deal breaker, that's just how you feel.  My DH occasionally smokes cigars, usually when it's hot outside and he's spending the evening out there somewhere.  But his breath - it's unmistakable he was smoking.  An occasional smoke isn't a deal breaker between us, but I'm very happy he doesn't smoke anything on a regular basis - I also hate it.  The fact your boyfriend seems to think it's okay to lie about something so obvious is a red flag.  You'll both be happier with others.