Not Quite Sure
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|Wed, 01-08-2014 - 5:31pm|
Not quite sure if this is the right place to post, although part of my situation fits. I will give you a brief synopsis: I have been with my now husband for 8 years. Dating for 7, married for almost a year. We have had many issues in the past. We have broken up several times, all his idea, and he has professed to having cheated on me while on one of those breaks. Just sex, nothing else and it was one time with someone he met online. However, he has dabbled with internet profiles before and I have caught him everytime. Also, while we were dating I used to find women's numbers in his phone, texts, etc. He also likes porn but I guess many men do. Recently, like about 3 months ago, I was looking through his phone and found some really sexual texts to an unknown number. No responses, just texts he had sent. I confronted him and he said it was someone he found on Craigslist, he was bored, they exhanged emails and apparently phone numbers and he just wanted a "power play". He assured me nothing happened. I should mention he has been unemployed for 2 years and we are now living with his parents for the last 6 months. He claims that he is depressed often times and bored out of his mind and that is why he did that. That it was nothing but texts and that he would NEVER cheat on me.
Well, I have a huge issue with that and a huge trust issue all together. He claims we cannot move forward in our marriage if I don't trust him and I don't stop snooping. But I told him that something made me look and I found something that should have not been there. I find myself looking through his credit card statements, his phone, and even his laundry. I have even looked through the garbage can. I know that this snooping is not healthy and not normal. A person in a healthy relationship would not be snooping at all. But he has given me plenty of reason. While at work sometimes I look through Craiglist to see if I find a casual encounter's ad that may be him. I have even made fake email account to try to prove that its him. I know this is NOT right. I wish I could move past what has happened. I was doing very well until I found those texts 3 months ago. It shot me back a few years when we were having problems. I want to move forward but I can't. I just don't trust him. He doesn't answer his phone, I think he' doing something he should not be. Any slight variation to his behavior or actions and I suspect IMMEDIATELY. I just don't know if I can continue living like this. Thoughts?