QOTD: Maturity?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
QOTD: Maturity?
5
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 7:40pm

What defines maturity in a relationship?

Age, how one acts in stressful situations in the relationship, or both?

Chime in and let us know how you feel! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 7:43pm

I feel that *both* play a part in the maturity of a relationship. As you age, you experience more, and this allows you to gain wisdom from past mistakes. Also, the result you got from handling situations in a certain way can make you mature and the relationship mature. If the results were bad, I'm sure you would consider changing your actions if the same situation came along again...

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 4:50pm

I'm not so sure age is a factor.  There are young people who have maturity beyond their years and there are older people who are as silly and juvenile as a junior high schooler. 

I believe that people who have skated through life with the help of enablers are extremely immature compared to those who have had to go through some trials and tribulations with no help and have learned what they are made of through the course of said trials and tribulations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 8:02pm
Agree with you 100% Kendahke. I know a few people in their 30s and 40s who have been in and out of jail since their late teens and early 20's and don't seem to have learned a thing from that. But then again they always seem to have someone to enable them (bail them out) everytime they get thrown in jail or get into other kinds of trouble. I also know a couple of fathers in their 30's that are lazy as heck and won't work and support their kids, so either the mom or the gramma are supporting the kids entirely. When ones been enabled all their lives there's no incentive to change.
Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Sat, 03-16-2013 - 10:57am

what will be sad for them is when their primary enabler--that mother or grandmother--dies and they have never developed any solid structure or foundation in their lives and they crumble under the weight of reality without that enabler.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 03-17-2013 - 2:31am
Unfortunately the ones I know often move from one enabler to the next. I have a 33 yr. old nephew in law that hasnt worked for like 10 years, and when one relative or friend kicks him out he always finds another to live with without contributing a dime. I am amazed at how his luck never seems to run out. And all the while his mom, at 53 yrs old, is raising and supporting his 2 kids. Sad