20yr age gap man he's really flirting
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 06-16-2005 - 11:01am |
Okay, the guy that I work with, he's 20yrs my senior but he doesnt look it. He's nice, single, he's come to my house twice to watch a baseball game. Fine. There is some attraction. Well this morning he came in and said why dont you let me take that off for you. I said what? He repeated and then pointed to his lips, referring to my lipstick. I said well you know what time I get off from work. He smiled and said alright now.
I want to start something but I think it will just be a fling for me maybe. Im tired of "waiting" It's been a year and three months that I was stalling giving my ex time i thought to get himself together. It's just not happening, he's moved on and I want to enjoy my life, have some fun. But I dont want to hurt this "new guy" b/c I feel this may be a rebound for me. Or I guess I can just see what happens, go with the flow and dont expect anything.
Advice please

DEFINITELY go with the flow.
Let it happen how it will. No expectations :)
Good luck and as always HUGS,
Angelena
Luvred,
When your coworker smiles can you see Shark Teeth?
Beware the man who can smell the blood of discontent and longing trailing behind you as if you were a wounded dolphin. He's a shark. He can see your vunerable. Men like him troll the "oceans" looking for women who are lost and longing after a breakup.
My advice? Tell "Jaws" to find another hobby and go away. First of all, you have to work together. Even if you have a "fling" and never do anything else you put yourself in a vunerable position at your place of employment, i.e. Who says he won't brag about his "conquest" of you or worse tell people you are loose and easy. (I don't care if sex is causal or consensual. It's YOUR reputation that will get dragged through the mud.) Think about whether you really want your coworkers and boss(es) to know about your personal life.
Get busy doing things you've always wanted to do but always put off because you were married, your ex didn't like to, etc. You have an unbelievable gift to unwrap: a second chance to be whomever you want to be. You deserve to discover what you really want and need in life. Being "single again" is a chance to do that. Along the way you may discover someone far more deserving of sharing your life and body with...and why would you want to pass up that opportunity for a fling with the Great White?
Blessings,
Wisdomtooth
I know you feel like it may be time to date and this guy is convenient. But you do work with him, and if he turns out to be a rebound, you're going to have to see him on a daily basis. Your life could be a lot less stressful if you keep your professional life and personal life separate.
Wishing you the best.
-sang
WOW, That is surely one way of looking at it. You say "Tell Jaws to find another hobby and go away". You think this is just a conquest issue on his part b/c of the 20yr age gap and he wants to feel like a big man for getting someone so much younger than him. Couldn't it be possible that he's sincere. I mean im not naive. I just would like to think that there are still some good, decent men out there who arent looking to just play games and then report to his "friends" about his conquests. Geez the man is in his late 40's, I would hope he's way pass that stage.
Then on the otherhand the whole him being a coworker is the biggest downside for me. I dont know.
I do know that I have the opportunity to "find myself" now, ive been doing some of that and have more work to do I know. But hell life is so short, I do miss the companionship.
luvred-
It's hard to tell on what you've said of this guy what his motives are. He could be sincere or he could be out for a conquest. But where you are working with him, if he is out for a conquest the fallout of that could be very uncomfortable for you. You could have a fling with this guy now, and 1 year from now if someone new starts there do you really want them to hear "would you believe that luvred had a hot fling with 40ish guy, I hear she's...."
I just think that if you want to meet someone to date there are ways you can do that outside of your work life. Pursue a hobby/interest, ask friends if they know anyone, try internet dating, speed dating, maybe a local bar or club has a singles night. Then if it crashes and burns at least you don't have to deal with it on a daily basis at work.
-sang
I hear you, and I agree it isn't always easy. When my marriage was breaking up, my friends who'd been single all started serious relationships. Luckily I wasn't ready to be looking then, but now I'm thinking I might like to start dating. But my routine has become so routine that there's not much opportunity to meet anyone new, much less men. I've got to start some new things, and for my first step today I checked out a nearby gym. Not that I expect to meet men there, but if I get comfortable going there alone and feel better and more confident because I'm in better shape, it'll be a good start on getting the guts to check out some more new things in the near future. I'm just taking baby steps.
-sang