2.5 years later and he keeps changing his schedule

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
2.5 years later and he keeps changing his schedule
6
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 9:10am

I have been divorced since February of 09.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 10:27am

It can be really frustrating not to have a schedule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 10:35am

I completely agree.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 12:32pm

Hi Kel,

I would suggest removing the details of your DH's situation out of the equation.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007

Thanks Serenity.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Kel,

Hi. Basically, you're not going to change your EX into an adult by insisting he act like one. But what you can do is set a schedule and stick to it. That means you DO NOT allow him to dump your son on you the days he happens to be working. You tell him, "Sorry, you'll have to make other arrangements for his care. I'm gone, plans, etc." As long as you let him get away with "whatever" on the days he's working, the more he's going to take advantage of you on YOUR days with your son, etc. This does not mean you love your son less nor that you want to see him less. And you need to explain to your son exactly that.

As for child support, he's been ordered to pay it. You are the primary custodial parent. Unless he goes to court to get joint custody or primary custody, he must pay his court ordered child support. If he refuses to pay or pays less, then you need to get YOUR attorney in the picture and take legal action.

Obviously your EX is immature. A lot of men hit 30-35 and suddenly realize they aren't 18 any more. Hence, some get divorced and chuck the full-time "grown up" role of husband and father, some buy toys, some develop hobbies, some men "man up" and accept their stage in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007

Thank you Wisdom!!