2months separated, and cant deal with it

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
2months separated, and cant deal with it
2
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:58pm

Hello everyone,


This is my first post and I'm not sure of the response I will receive.I have been separated for almost 2 months now and I really think I am having a nervous breakdown.


My husband of 7years found out I have been unfaithful and left me.We have 2 children 2 and 4.I dont know what to do with myself,I cant even tell you why I cheated,I had to much to drink and things got out of hand,the saddest part is I barely remember. I have entered therapy to try to work on things and figure out what is going on in my head. I feel good after therapy but the next day I'm back into my slump. I cant eat I cant sleep. I cant do anything I feel so lost, I didnt know it was humanly possible to cry this much. I know I deserve everything I get but I feel so alone.He is still helping out with the kids, I dont drive so he comes and gets them to take them to the babysitter and drops me off at work,brings the kids home at about 730 then leaves again.He told me he needs space and isnt ready to begin to work on this,he says he cannot take our children i nto consideration because if he known about the affairs he wouldnt have married me in the 1st place and they wouldnt have been born, that kills me to hear he is holding resentment against the kids for my actions.although i will say he treats them like royalty, he says those things to me when i beg him to come home and work on this,not in the presence o f the kids.the kids get the best of him,he sees them 10 minutes in the morning and they fall asleep on the way home from the babysitters and sundays we will usually do something as a family,this past sunday was the 1st time he took the kids alone as i had a babyshower, but when i got home we fought and he left here in a frenzy.


i am in the process of getting my drivers license, i know how sad is it i dont have a license,so the real reality hasnt hit me yet because once i get that, we will have no communication except for the kids.


im sorry for rambling i just need someone to talk to,as you can probaly see i am an emotional wreck, when i talk to my sister she just gets infuriated with him because he cant give me an answer to as is he wants to work this out or call it quits,im worried she is gonna lose it with him and make things worse.she thinks he had plenty of time to make a decision, but i dont want to force him into one as i know he will just choose to call it quits. i dont want to sound selfish but how long do i put up with this roller coaster ride w.out even knowing where we are going. i have apologized numerous times, recommited myself to the marriage and family, entered therapy, i dont knwo what else to do to prove to him that i want him in my life, when i tell him that he says its because im selfish , i dont want to lose anything, that is not the case i just dont want to lose him and the family we created.


i could see if we were this miserable couple, but he is my best friend, we barely fought , and althought i sshouldve told him , i didnt want to hurt him, it wasnt done out of selfishness,


im sorry to ramble im just so lost right now


thanks for listening


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:17pm

Terrified,


Yes, it is scary to be in your situation. It's very difficult to image the future; the best thing to do is take things one day at a time.


My first piece of advice is stop telling your sister everything. She's your

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 8:20pm

Thank you for your advice.
I have suggested couseling for the 2 of us but he isnt ready, I can accept that, I have asked him to see someone so he can