3 Yrs & He's Still Blaming Me
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| Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:48am |
Are any of you still experiencing hostitily and blame from your ex's. Though they were the ones that obviously didnt want to be together. For me ex cheated more than once so enough was enough and I kicked him out. Alot has happened in the past three years since it ended. I am now staying with my sister until my new place is ready. I couldnt afford to buy the apt we were living in (coop bldg) and Im sure he is so glad that now Im finally out of there, while we were there he thought he was on top of the world. However, knowing he couldnt wait for me to be out of there his nastiness towards me is unbelievable. He still accuses me of using our son to get back at him. Accuses me of being vindictive and putting him threw $hit.
For the past few months he hasnt been getting our son regularly, he hasnt paid child support in I dont know how long, owes over $1,400 dollars, and has the audacity to complain about how I dress our son, says his clothes are crappy a$$ clothes. The weekend was his, he cancelled sat, showed up 4 hours late yesterday. Now Im supposedly purposely keeping our son from him right, but yet I still let him go. Knowing he doesnt get much time with him (his own fault by the way) I try to give him as much time as possible. Let him get him earlier and keeping him later than the court order specifies. I try to overlook his idiocy. NO MORE! Im doing things EXACTLY BY THE BOOK.
A few months ago my mother was in intensive care with a blod clot in the heart. She's out of the hospital now but is still sick. At one point we thought she wouldnt make it and I asked him to take our son for a few hours so I could attend to some things. So I told him what was going on etc.
He has E.O.W Sat & Sun 11-6pm. He didnt have overnights because he has carpet in his studio. So last night after he dropped him off I called him to ask the last time our son ate and then he started telling me he's moving by the end of the week and our son will have a small room, then says well it's not really a room it was a dining room but he's making it a room, he will have a bed and a small dresser, then he says, that room wont have carpet but his room does. Our son is 4yrs old. He has a neurological disorder, suffers very bad from food allergies, eczema and asthma (which was recently diagnosed). Ex has never really accepted that our son has the neurological condition. He accuses me of putting things on him he doesnt has, and being too careful with him. Meanwhile son's dr. and allergist have both said that he would benefit from a carpet free home/environment.
So WHY ON EARTH would you rent a place with carpet on the floor. He says he couldnt find a place that didnt have carpet that he could afford. Keep fricking looking to you find something. Not everyplace only rents with carpet on the floor. My place didnt have carpet and my sister's place doesnt have carpet. Ex had always perferred carpeting on the floor. Then I told him besides the allergies he now has asthma. He tells me No He Doesnt. What the hell do I do with him being like this. Just say sure have your overnights with your carpet in your room. I ended up calling him an a--hole and hung up. He left me a message saying that God sees everything and because I am being vindictive and putting him through $hit that's why my mother is going though the $hit she's going through b/c when your nasty God punishes you through your loved ones. So that's why my mother is in the trouble she's in because of what Im doing to him. I was furious but didnt give him the satisfaction of calling him back with a response which is what he wanted. But how could he go there. My mom still may die. It's not my fault his mother left him when he was very young and didnt raise him and his brother's. I dont involve her though. All im doing is being concerned about our son's health and he keeps accusing me of being vindictive. I dont get it. We go back to court March 1st. How do I address this issue. He refuses to accept ours son's issues. What's wrong with him.

There are lots of people on this board with lots more experience on working with the courts. I would most definitely have your lawyer prepare documentation regarding your son's medical issues and the problems with visitation and your X's place as well as the failure to pay child support. How to handle these issues should probably be in any amended court orders.
As I said, others here will have better advice, but whatever you do, don't represent yourself and don't express your anger in court--just the facts and your genuine concern for your son's health and continued positive contact with your X.
GL,
M