Is 3,000 a month fair w/o getting lawyer

Avatar for loving_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Is 3,000 a month fair w/o getting lawyer
3
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:43am

I'm sorry to repeat myself, I just need some help please.....

Please, I need to know so many things right now. I can't get a lawyer, and he and I are just getting seperated.

After 4 years of being concerned things were changing, and trying to talk to him so many, many times. One night I tried to talk again, cried, poured my heart out, but he ignorned me. So I finally said, I want a divorce, and from there he's like "okay".

So now, he wants to just try to come up with this sep. agreement, w/o any lawyers. We've been togehter 8 years, married 4 1/2, and have a 3 year old. Plus he's been taking care of my other 2 kids who are teenagers now, since I have a deadbeat parent from my first marriage back when I was 18.

He has done well with me in regard to getting an education, and getting into the computer field, and now makes about 8,000 dollars a month. I've been staying home since we bought our house 5 years ago. And take care of the house and baby.

He wants to give me 3000 dollars a month, plus still provide the health insurance. He wants me to go buy (well with our home equity) another house or townhouse right NOW, and fix this house up while we are all out, and then sell it in about 6 months, and split the profit 50/50. Of course minus the 70 grand I put down on the new house. Which should give me about nother 40 grand at least by the time we sell it.

Am i missing anything?? Is that fair enough for me to stay out of court? We also agreed on joint custody, and remain on his life insurance policy which is a lot of money. I don't want to burn my bridges, nor have him as my enemy. But I need to know if that's a good deal? Would I be awarded anything more, or less in that case? Should I take this deal??
I also will be starting a full time job here in the next month. And will miss my baby more than anything in the whole world, but it's a job with benefits, and an okay salary. I should work right? I mean now while we arre going through this seperation?? Or do I refuse to work, and cause problems??

Yes it will all be drawn up, and notorized.
Any help please?

Alissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:56am

Well, I am by no means an expert, and I don't know where you live.

Avatar for loving_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 1:52pm

Thanks Sandee. I did talk to a lawyer, and mostly got out of the conversation was to just come to an agreement as much as possible. The contestant divorces do cost more, ans we both don't want to waste the money.

He's been nice or trying to be. But I'm sure when it starts getting down to the nitty gritty, it might get tough.

Yes 3,000 dollars sounds good with me too, but I do worry if he can't work one day, or gets hurt, or whatever. Of course I could take him to court, but that still will take some time, and in the meantime, the bills will still need to be paid. I'm going to work full time, after not working for 5 years, but I stil won't make enough to live the way I live now. iwill miss my house, for sure, but also miss being able to buy whatever I wanted for me or the kids.

But I do look forward to the new life.
Alissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:18pm

I know that in my situation there is a certain percentage of his total income he has to pay for our 2 children. I didn't qualify for alimony, but you may.

I would research those percentages and base it on the 8K per month salary. Then, I would see which is more.


Hugs and I hope all works out for you :)


Angelena